Jesus, im desperate for you
i'm tired of empty prayers
i'm tired of heartless worship
i'm tired of going through the daily motions
i'm tired of religion and its routines
i'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, you're all this heart is living for
i want to feel your joy back in my heart
i want to feel your pleasure, your affection
i want to feel your presence inside of my heart
i want to know you more
i want to know you more, more than anything else, no material thing no earthly thing can satisfy my heart like the way you satisfy mine
you're the best thing
you're the one thing
you're the only thing
you're all that i want
you're all that i need
you're everything
Father God i pray that you release your pleasure upon my heart
a heart that is desperate to know your love
God, that's all that i want, that's all that need, that's all that i'm chasing after in this world,
is to know your manifest presence
to know your goodness
your grace
your beauty
your manifest,
life inside of my heart
God, make it real
-jaeson ma
7.28.2008
7.27.2008
breakthrough
i won't settle for mediocrity
i won't settle for a lukewarm life
Jesus, you did not die a gruesome and sick death on the cross for me to have this kind of relationship
Jesus, i'd rather die than live a lukewarm life
Jesus, i'd rather die than live a life that is anything short of an intense and passionate relationship with you
Jesus, to truly know your love,
as a lovesick worshipper after God, your own heart
God i won't settle with anything else. I JUST WON'T
Jesus i won't relent until i have the same burning, PASSION that you have for me
Jesus i feel so unfaithful
so hypocritical, to cry out your name with my arms raised
God, my cries seem so empty
my relationship with you so shallow, to be,
so impatient, that when i wait upon you and do not FEEL your presence, i give up
Jesus set me on fire for you
i need FIRE
Jesus, i need breakthrough. breakthrough. in my life. at this very moment. right here. right now.
come be the fire inside of me come be the flame upon my heart
until you and i are one
Jesus, you won't relent until you have it all
MY HEART IS YOURS
i won't settle for a lukewarm life
Jesus, you did not die a gruesome and sick death on the cross for me to have this kind of relationship
Jesus, i'd rather die than live a lukewarm life
Jesus, i'd rather die than live a life that is anything short of an intense and passionate relationship with you
Jesus, to truly know your love,
as a lovesick worshipper after God, your own heart
God i won't settle with anything else. I JUST WON'T
Jesus i won't relent until i have the same burning, PASSION that you have for me
Jesus i feel so unfaithful
so hypocritical, to cry out your name with my arms raised
God, my cries seem so empty
my relationship with you so shallow, to be,
so impatient, that when i wait upon you and do not FEEL your presence, i give up
Jesus set me on fire for you
i need FIRE
Jesus, i need breakthrough. breakthrough. in my life. at this very moment. right here. right now.
come be the fire inside of me come be the flame upon my heart
until you and i are one
Jesus, you won't relent until you have it all
MY HEART IS YOURS
7.24.2008
mary, not martha
i want to be a mary, not a martha.
along with my heart's cry this summer for onething that is intimacy with God, my mom keeps reminding me this story. i want to be a mary, who sat at Jesus' feet and listened, spent time with Jesus. i don't want to be a martha, who spent the time busying herself with preparations.
its not that what martha did was wrong, she had good intentions, because she wanted to make Jesus' stay comfortable and more enjoyable. however, in the end, it was martha's loss, because all Jesus wants from us is to spend time with him and to know him and to listen to him, at his feet, like mary.
i know what Jesus would want. Jesus said "there is only one thing worht being concerned about. mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her"
i want to spend my life having intimacy first, loving God first, spending time with him, waiting upon him. then all other things, evangelism, loving others, serving, etc. will follow.
especially with leadership and ministry coming up, i know what Jesus would want, what i want. i want intimacy. to know the father's heart, to hear his voice, to feel his touch, to know his presence. that is what comes first. ministry can come second. if i get so caught up in ministry that i don't have time to read and wait upon God or pray, then i have a problem. what would be the point of ministry if i don't even have intimacy with God myself?
oh God, i want to be a mary.
along with my heart's cry this summer for onething that is intimacy with God, my mom keeps reminding me this story. i want to be a mary, who sat at Jesus' feet and listened, spent time with Jesus. i don't want to be a martha, who spent the time busying herself with preparations.
its not that what martha did was wrong, she had good intentions, because she wanted to make Jesus' stay comfortable and more enjoyable. however, in the end, it was martha's loss, because all Jesus wants from us is to spend time with him and to know him and to listen to him, at his feet, like mary.
i know what Jesus would want. Jesus said "there is only one thing worht being concerned about. mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her"
i want to spend my life having intimacy first, loving God first, spending time with him, waiting upon him. then all other things, evangelism, loving others, serving, etc. will follow.
especially with leadership and ministry coming up, i know what Jesus would want, what i want. i want intimacy. to know the father's heart, to hear his voice, to feel his touch, to know his presence. that is what comes first. ministry can come second. if i get so caught up in ministry that i don't have time to read and wait upon God or pray, then i have a problem. what would be the point of ministry if i don't even have intimacy with God myself?
oh God, i want to be a mary.
7.23.2008
waiting
today when i went to waiting upon God session. i haven't gone for a while, not since i got back from college, but when i got in the room i could feel God's presence so thick in the room. i haven't felt anything like it for a long time, and all i could do was weep. when the worship started all i could do was weep. it was an intimate moment.
waiting upon God is not easy. i don't have the patience to sit and be still for over 10 minutes and let God's love fill me up without being distracted. but i am willing.
the truth is, i can't do it on my own strength. by my own strength and determination i cannot wait upon God. it is by God's grace that we can do it.
in my sin, i stumble upon the foot of the cross. on it, is Jesus, and he is weeping. the ground is covered with his blood. he has been on that cross for so long, because he has been waiting for me. it is so painful, but he waits, because he loves me. throughout my days i have failed to come before him and wait for him. i have been off, living life fulfilling my own selfish desires. his heart is broken. he as been watching me all these days, only to see me ignore him and go my own ways. he weeps. but finally i come to the cross. Jesus wraps his arms around me. his blood covers me. all i can do is weep and wrap my arms around that cross. and weep. and weep. my arms cling to that cross. i never let go. i want to stay in that place forever. in his arms. forever.
waiting upon God is not easy. i don't have the patience to sit and be still for over 10 minutes and let God's love fill me up without being distracted. but i am willing.
the truth is, i can't do it on my own strength. by my own strength and determination i cannot wait upon God. it is by God's grace that we can do it.
in my sin, i stumble upon the foot of the cross. on it, is Jesus, and he is weeping. the ground is covered with his blood. he has been on that cross for so long, because he has been waiting for me. it is so painful, but he waits, because he loves me. throughout my days i have failed to come before him and wait for him. i have been off, living life fulfilling my own selfish desires. his heart is broken. he as been watching me all these days, only to see me ignore him and go my own ways. he weeps. but finally i come to the cross. Jesus wraps his arms around me. his blood covers me. all i can do is weep and wrap my arms around that cross. and weep. and weep. my arms cling to that cross. i never let go. i want to stay in that place forever. in his arms. forever.
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