so i'm supposed to be studying, yet i fail.
i stumbled across this story about a muslim girl named Rifqa Bary who became Christian and her parents were gonna kill her for being Christian so she ran away from home to a pastor's house and now there's this huge controversy.
anyways this is her testimony (check out 6:12):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ne0MdUyJ1GU
oh yea and she's like 16. i'm pretty sure most 16 year old Christians do not know Jesus the way she does.
this is what happens when we are persecuted for our faith. it creates desperation. and passion. Jesus becomes more than a religion. He becomes your life. He becomes your everything. nothing else matters anymore, not even your life.
Jesus come be my everything.
If you don't have a passion worthy dying for, you have nothing worth living for
-jaeson ma
10.17.2009
10.13.2009
10.05.2009
emotions
i have putting off this post for quite some time now. (andy would know heh)
emotions are a gift from God. some feel more than others. the F in my ENFJ means i experience God naturally through feeling Him. it has been a season of a love/hate relationship of acknowledging just how much of a feeler He created me to be, one i see as a gift when i feel good and one that i question when i feel bummed. like when i feel bummed (due to circumstance or situation) i have a greater difficulty feeling Him and therefore a greater difficulty to love Him and i question why He even gave me emotions. why couldn't i just know the truth, be happy, move on, and just always love Him 100%? but that would mean i would be a robot and God did not create me to be a robot. nope. i don't think so.
as a feeler, i always have trouble with trying to rationalize Jesus or experiencing Him through theory. or head knowledge. and it's always been hard to experience a heart reality when i cannot feel Him. during this season of an emotional tug-of-war i embrace this truth more than ever before: beauty is when head knowledge flows down from the head to become a heart reality.
we can know God is good, He loves us with an everlasting love. with our head, we know this. we sing about it, we read books on it. we spend hours in church learning about it. as christians we spend our entire lives getting drilled with this truth. we even share with others about how good He is.
yet until we experience His love first hand through a love encounter, that head knowledge remains head knowledge. until the Holy Spirit gives us a revelation of His goodness, love, and mercy and makes it an experiential reality to us, we are stuck in what i call religion. a bunch of rules, theories, and ideas. dead. we live a life of faith but no heart. religion but no relationship. so come Holy Spirit. Spirit of revelation come.
yet my extreme emotions feeler action is a gift. He's telling me not to purge it from me. and i'm definitely not going to stop trying to feel Him. No. i will continue to strive first to seek out His emotions for me. His thoughts, His affections, His passions, desires, for me. and when i cannot feel Him i am weak and i cry out in holy desperation. i cry out what i know to be true yet not feeling any of it. and He comes and sweeps me off my feet.
as lovers of Jesus, we are created to feel Him. yet emotions come and go. Jesus is taking me into a season of truth beyond emotions. joy beyond happiness. a season where i stop fighting what He is trying to do with me because i had asked Him to change me in the first place. and to learn to be like that child that slides down the slide and to accept what Daddy is trying to teach me. and stop whining. to stop tugging and let Him win that tug-of-war going on in my heart. cause Abba loves me. Daddy knows what is best for me.
He is taking me into a season of joy. of calling me closer. of becoming His bride.
i am my beloved's and He is mine
so come into your garden and take delight in me
come sweet Jesus. my heart is your garden
come and find your resting place in me
emotions are a gift from God. some feel more than others. the F in my ENFJ means i experience God naturally through feeling Him. it has been a season of a love/hate relationship of acknowledging just how much of a feeler He created me to be, one i see as a gift when i feel good and one that i question when i feel bummed. like when i feel bummed (due to circumstance or situation) i have a greater difficulty feeling Him and therefore a greater difficulty to love Him and i question why He even gave me emotions. why couldn't i just know the truth, be happy, move on, and just always love Him 100%? but that would mean i would be a robot and God did not create me to be a robot. nope. i don't think so.
as a feeler, i always have trouble with trying to rationalize Jesus or experiencing Him through theory. or head knowledge. and it's always been hard to experience a heart reality when i cannot feel Him. during this season of an emotional tug-of-war i embrace this truth more than ever before: beauty is when head knowledge flows down from the head to become a heart reality.
we can know God is good, He loves us with an everlasting love. with our head, we know this. we sing about it, we read books on it. we spend hours in church learning about it. as christians we spend our entire lives getting drilled with this truth. we even share with others about how good He is.
yet until we experience His love first hand through a love encounter, that head knowledge remains head knowledge. until the Holy Spirit gives us a revelation of His goodness, love, and mercy and makes it an experiential reality to us, we are stuck in what i call religion. a bunch of rules, theories, and ideas. dead. we live a life of faith but no heart. religion but no relationship. so come Holy Spirit. Spirit of revelation come.
yet my extreme emotions feeler action is a gift. He's telling me not to purge it from me. and i'm definitely not going to stop trying to feel Him. No. i will continue to strive first to seek out His emotions for me. His thoughts, His affections, His passions, desires, for me. and when i cannot feel Him i am weak and i cry out in holy desperation. i cry out what i know to be true yet not feeling any of it. and He comes and sweeps me off my feet.
as lovers of Jesus, we are created to feel Him. yet emotions come and go. Jesus is taking me into a season of truth beyond emotions. joy beyond happiness. a season where i stop fighting what He is trying to do with me because i had asked Him to change me in the first place. and to learn to be like that child that slides down the slide and to accept what Daddy is trying to teach me. and stop whining. to stop tugging and let Him win that tug-of-war going on in my heart. cause Abba loves me. Daddy knows what is best for me.
He is taking me into a season of joy. of calling me closer. of becoming His bride.
i am my beloved's and He is mine
so come into your garden and take delight in me
come sweet Jesus. my heart is your garden
come and find your resting place in me
10.04.2009
confession
i'm in love.
His name is Jesus. He has written my name on the palm of His hands.
and i have engraved His name on my heart.
i'm captivated by Him. His beauty stuns me. i stop for a moment and gaze into his eyes like blazing fire and passion for me and my heart skips a beat.
He stands before me in white robes and a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair are white as snow. His face is brighter than the sun shining in all its brilliance.
His love is jealous for me, His bride. and He takes delight in me. much, much more than i realize.
He's faithful to the end
He's faithful to my heart
He's faithful to the end
He will come and marry me
LORD, i only dare to ask: how much of your infinite glory, splendor, and love can i even begin to comprehend? how much will i even come close to experiencing?
i want it all, God. the fullness of you. come and have all of me.
john 17:3
~~~
i am yours,
you are mine,
and we'll be together, forever.
His name is Jesus. He has written my name on the palm of His hands.
and i have engraved His name on my heart.
i'm captivated by Him. His beauty stuns me. i stop for a moment and gaze into his eyes like blazing fire and passion for me and my heart skips a beat.
He stands before me in white robes and a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair are white as snow. His face is brighter than the sun shining in all its brilliance.
His love is jealous for me, His bride. and He takes delight in me. much, much more than i realize.
He's faithful to the end
He's faithful to my heart
He's faithful to the end
He will come and marry me
LORD, i only dare to ask: how much of your infinite glory, splendor, and love can i even begin to comprehend? how much will i even come close to experiencing?
i want it all, God. the fullness of you. come and have all of me.
john 17:3
~~~
i am yours,
you are mine,
and we'll be together, forever.
10.01.2009
and He said to me
eric, my son, take a moment, stop, and gaze upon the beauty of the face that is love. eric, stop. and dare, for a moment, to look straight into my eyes of love. my son, can't you see that I am beautiful? can't you see that I am so much more lovely than anything in this world? beloved son, my eyes are on you. my eyes are on you.
would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?
would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?
9.01.2009
LOVE by jaeson ma
so there's this preacher called jaeson ma i really look up to him anyways he's hecka gangster and he raps and stuff and he came out with this song. he sorta preaches in it cause it was totally freestyle and passion and unplanned and totally Holy Spirit.
it might be too intense for you. but come on, all of today's popular "pagan" music on the radio and clubs and stuff is pretty darn intense.
and come on, how much more intense is Jesus' love? i really like intense. cause Jesus' love for us is intense. the nails in His hands, the thorns in His brow, beaten to a pulp, hanging on the cross for my sins, your sins. that is intense. i want to know intense. i want to know LOVE.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73kZ6wBoqTk
it might be too intense for you. but come on, all of today's popular "pagan" music on the radio and clubs and stuff is pretty darn intense.
and come on, how much more intense is Jesus' love? i really like intense. cause Jesus' love for us is intense. the nails in His hands, the thorns in His brow, beaten to a pulp, hanging on the cross for my sins, your sins. that is intense. i want to know intense. i want to know LOVE.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73kZ6wBoqTk
8.29.2009
thank you
thank you, Holy Spirit
studying for MCATs has been hard.
but
i praise you Jesus, for you are good.
oh LORD, my God, i will give thanks to you forever.
~~~
shout for joy the the LORD, all the earth
worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
know that the LORD is God.
it is He who made us, and we are his
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture
enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.
psalm100
story of my summer.
story of my life.
~~~
thank you, Father, for your ways are higher than my ways
thank you, Abba, for you know what is best for me, better than what i think is best for myself.
thank you, Daddy, that i can be called your kid, and you always give me the best
thank you, Father, for your leadership in my life is perfect
thank you, Jesus, for you hold me, my life, my future, in the palm of your hands
thank you, Holy Spirit, that even when i can't see your goodness, you help me to
thank you, Holy Spirit, that when i whine and complain, your light shines on me and i realize how silly i am and how good you really are
thank you, Holy Spirit, for you help me set my gaze not on myself, not on what is in front of me, but on your beauty, on your grace,
thank you, Holy Spirit, that you overcome my fleshy short-sightedness and give me eyes to see you
thank you, Holy Spirit, for you are so much greater than my emotions or my mood
thank you, Holy Spirit, for helping me keep my eyes on You and not on my circumstances or surroundings
thank you, Holy Spirit, for the indestructible peace that dwells inside of me
thank you, Holy Spirit, that i don't have to ask for peace, because the One that is peace already dwells inside of me
thank you, Holy Spirit, for all the days of my life are filled with your love, peace, and joy
thank you, Jesus, for this summer, taking me from glory to glory
thank you, Jesus, for you are so faithful
thank you, Holy Spirit, for you are closer than i really think or realize
thank you, Jesus, because you really do value me more than anything else
thank you, Jesus, because you are the Renewer of my soul
thank you, Abba, because you put my heart together when it has been broken and wounded
thank you, Jesus, for you hear the cries of my heart
thank you, Jesus, for your mercies are new every morning
thank you, Jesus, that my relationship with you isn't an end result in heaven, but it is a daily fellowship, relational, everlasting, romantic hand-in-hand walk in the park date
thank you, Jesus, that i can just enjoy being with you and not have to say anything
thank you, Jesus, that even if my thoughts aren't always on you, you are still thinking of me
thank you, Jesus, for you are altogether lovely, altogether worthy, altogether beautiful to me
thank you, Abba, for you never leave me nor forsake me
thank you, Daddy, for you call me beloved son
LORD, YOU ARE GOOD AND YOUR MERCY ENDURETH FOREVER
studying for MCATs has been hard.
but
i praise you Jesus, for you are good.
oh LORD, my God, i will give thanks to you forever.
~~~
shout for joy the the LORD, all the earth
worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
know that the LORD is God.
it is He who made us, and we are his
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture
enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.
psalm100
story of my summer.
story of my life.
~~~
thank you, Father, for your ways are higher than my ways
thank you, Abba, for you know what is best for me, better than what i think is best for myself.
thank you, Daddy, that i can be called your kid, and you always give me the best
thank you, Father, for your leadership in my life is perfect
thank you, Jesus, for you hold me, my life, my future, in the palm of your hands
thank you, Holy Spirit, that even when i can't see your goodness, you help me to
thank you, Holy Spirit, that when i whine and complain, your light shines on me and i realize how silly i am and how good you really are
thank you, Holy Spirit, for you help me set my gaze not on myself, not on what is in front of me, but on your beauty, on your grace,
thank you, Holy Spirit, that you overcome my fleshy short-sightedness and give me eyes to see you
thank you, Holy Spirit, for you are so much greater than my emotions or my mood
thank you, Holy Spirit, for helping me keep my eyes on You and not on my circumstances or surroundings
thank you, Holy Spirit, for the indestructible peace that dwells inside of me
thank you, Holy Spirit, that i don't have to ask for peace, because the One that is peace already dwells inside of me
thank you, Holy Spirit, for all the days of my life are filled with your love, peace, and joy
thank you, Jesus, for this summer, taking me from glory to glory
thank you, Jesus, for you are so faithful
thank you, Holy Spirit, for you are closer than i really think or realize
thank you, Jesus, because you really do value me more than anything else
thank you, Jesus, because you are the Renewer of my soul
thank you, Abba, because you put my heart together when it has been broken and wounded
thank you, Jesus, for you hear the cries of my heart
thank you, Jesus, for your mercies are new every morning
thank you, Jesus, that my relationship with you isn't an end result in heaven, but it is a daily fellowship, relational, everlasting, romantic hand-in-hand walk in the park date
thank you, Jesus, that i can just enjoy being with you and not have to say anything
thank you, Jesus, that even if my thoughts aren't always on you, you are still thinking of me
thank you, Jesus, for you are altogether lovely, altogether worthy, altogether beautiful to me
thank you, Abba, for you never leave me nor forsake me
thank you, Daddy, for you call me beloved son
LORD, YOU ARE GOOD AND YOUR MERCY ENDURETH FOREVER
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