AGhhh okay this can't wait any longer
i can finally tell the world about something amazing.
its about...my dad.
so the other day i called home and i was talking to my sister and she said my dad went to church the other day. which made me super happy, cause he hasn't gone for like years. i praise God, cause well, i've been praying for my dad and his relationship with God for like as long as i can remember.
but it didn't end there.
my sister said that my dad accepted Jesus into his heart.
wait WHAT?!
in the background i heard my mom say "with God, anything is possible!"
my mind blanked. whirlwind of emotions.
no way. wait no. God. are you serious?
sooo my dad is pretty much the typical asian dad. its really hard for him to show or express love. he's gone alot for business trips, like 3 weeks each month. but he works hard to support our family.
i love my dad. i'd hafta say our relationship isn't as good as with my mom, which is kinda hard to beat. haha. just kidding, no, both my parents and family are my life.
i love my dad, regardless of the many times he's hurt me, rejected me, criticized me, especially when i was a kid. it was always hard for me to please my dad. he rarely says anything good. but i still love him, despite how he's angry alot, and all the hurt he's caused our family, to my mom, my brother, my sister. i love my dad to death and i still pray for him every time i think about him. that he may one day get to know Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior.
as for church, i remember he went on and off when i was a kid. he said he went there for the free coffee. i remember we would go and he would fall asleep. and snore. haha. but nonetheless i was glad that he went. but then he lost interest and just stopped going altogether.
communication was never the best between us, and it was always the hardest thing for me to talk with my dad. too many times I’d ask “God, why is it that I can easily share about your love at school but fail to share with my own dad?" my heart broke for him. all i could do was pray.
but we could do small talk. like the news or something. anything beyond that was rare and felt really awkward. like when i call home and talk to him, its pretty much small talk. like "oh dad, i'm gonna go eat, or, i'm gonna study, or, how's the weather?" and the words church, God, or Jesus was definitely taboo. at home, it was hard for me even to go to friday youth groups. when i did go it felt like i was sneaking out or doing something bad. today its even hard for me to mention how all my friends are from my christian club, that i’m leading a bible study, and sharing God’s love on campus. these aren’t things i can easily share with my dad. he knows that me my mom brother and sister are all Christian and we to church every sunday. we would try every once in a while on a sunday to ask my dad to come with us. but he really didn' t care much to go. i feel like he knows about the whole church deal and what it means. I feel like he was at the point where it was up to me not to force Jesus onto him, but to show him what love means, through my actions, relentlessly loving on him, and desperately praying for him. and I would just let God work in his heart and do the rest.
it was so hard. my dad was always skeptical about christianity. i remember he got mad at my mom for voting for george bush cause the church told her to. haha. he was always skeptical about religious fanatics, and the catholic church and stuff. I think a lot has to do with the hypocrisy we see in christianity today as well.
and one thing that hit me the most was when he told me he was disappointed in me when he asked me about my career choice. that it appeared like the only thing i was passionate about was God. (which i was sorta glad he could see) but thats besides the point. he was skeptical about how i was letting an unseen force, faith in a God we can't see, can't feel take over my life. to him, faith in Jesus is just rationally illogical.
regardless, since coming to college, i still send him emails, and call him. and i tell him I love him. i keep telling him that i love him. at first he'd kinda pretend that he didn't hear it. but slowly he would say "i love you too, eric". over the summer, i tried to spend more time at home with him, loving unconditionally on him, and throughout it all, praying. praying praying, asking God to change his heart, to melt the hardness of his heart, the pride, and rejection, and anger, and fill it with His unconditional love.
it was hard. my dad didn't seem to get any more loving. in fact, oftentimes, he seemed to be even more hurtful than ever.
to be perfectly honest, oftentimes i lost faith. sometimes when my dad would get really mean, even after all these years of praying and loving on him, i would question, “God why? why do people have to be so hurtful?”
im so thankful for my mom. she never lost faith. she prayed relentlessly, loved on my dad relentlessly, even when he would be mean to her, and firmly believed that God has His timing, that one day, we would be sitting together as a family, all five of us in church worshipping our God together. and finally be able to hold bible studies at our house, with my dad leading. what a beautiful picture. my mom never let go to that image because she had faith that with God, all things are possible. my mom and i continued to press in prayer for dad.
and God broke through. His timing came. watching him radically transform my dad really reminded me of how relentlessly God pursues each one of us. how he holds each of our hearts in his hands from the moment we are created.
I don’t know what else to say. 7 years ago, my mom and dad were on the brink of divorce. my mom would not let it happen. besides how she wanted me my brother and sister to grow up with a dad, my mom firmly believed that God put my dad in her life for a reason, to show him love, and that she will do just that and not give up. God transformed a broken family into a loving one that now has a dad who knows the Lord.
and I am in awe.
I don’t know what else to say.
God, you totally leave me speechless.
~~~~~~~~
i sent him an email the other day:
dear daddy,
how are you?
i'm at the library studying. i will probably be here all day, cause i have a final tomorrow.
I just wanted to let you know how happy i was to hear that you accepted Jesus into your heart! it is such a big step of faith and i was so happy to hear you make the decision. mommy and i have been praying so much for you, and i have been praying almost every day for you, for so many years, even more since i left for college, whenever i thought about you, i would pray that God would bless your job, health, your well-being and especially that one day you would get to accept Jesus as your personal Savior, as God of your life.
i almost couldn't believe my ears when i talked to you on the phone yesterday. i was in tears. it was almost like a dream come true and it made me really reflect how good God is, and how faithful he is, how relentless His love is, how Jesus is so in love with each one of us that He never stops pursuing after our hearts. i told couple of my close friends whom i shared with about you, and they were so happy too!, because i had asked them in the past to pray for you too, especially during the recent economic slump. accepting Jesus into your heart brings a lot of peace and comfort and joy into our lives. it sure has for me. it gives us a purpose to live for, that life is far much greater than the oftentimes broken and painful physical world we see with our eyes, that we should take each day as a blessing and enjoy it, and know that when we die, we can go to heaven to enjoy eternity with God, the creator of the universe who is so in love with us. it also brings you into another family, of brothers and sisters in Christ. like we are family, you mommy, me, rick, and alicia, but there is another family when you become Christian, and that is like everyone in church, and as Christians we all strive to love, support and encourage each other the way Jesus loves us, which is, forgiving, unconditional, and different from the broken and often shallow "love" we see too often in the broken marriages, broken relationships in today's world. i don't mean to criticize, but just to say that there is a greater love in this world worth pursuing, and that can be found in Jesus! but gosh daddy, i am just so happy for you. don't feel like you have to understand everything, or if you feel unworthy, that you have alot of baggage, or so many past wrongs. because God's love is renewing, and when you believe in him, you are like a new creation. there is a verse in the bible which says: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" -2 corinthians 5:17. that means when you believe in Jesus, and ask him to forgive you of your past or whatever, he will completely wash them away and begin renewing you. all you have to do is ask and receive.
okay im sorry for talking so much but i am very excited for you. haha i don't think i have been this happy for a while.
cant wait to go home!
love eric
