there is no gap

18 I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. 19 “A little while longer and the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you will live also. 20 At that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you.

John 14:18-20

Jesus' greatest desire was that we would be with Him (john 17:24). He chose to become man for eternity so that He would dwell with me. not only would He dwell with me, but within me. and not only within me, but one with me. yes, the God that spoke creation into being has become one with my spirit (1 cor 6:17). my spirit has become His, and His Spirit has become mine. He is closer to me than my own skin, and He never leaves.
at the same time, the biggest lie i can ever hear is that God is distant when i don't feel Him, see Him, or hear Him and that i need to perform in some way or posture myself and make myself presentable in order for God to come near to me. yet, i know that He is near. i know that He wants me, not for what i can do, but for who i am. one of the greatest mysteries is this: how God would find so much worth in a heart like mine that He would choose to take residence in it for eternity. oh how badly He wants me!
now, when i pray, i am no longer seeking to somehow span the gap between my heart and Jesus, for His broken body has breached the gap. Jesus has taken up residence within me through the Spirit and my prayers now come from loving response of Him in me, because there is no gap. Holy Spirit dwells within me. He helps me when i'm weak. He cares for me. He prays for me when i have no strength to pray (rom 8:26). He wants to talk to me, and is waiting for me. i slow down. His gentleness and kindness overwhelms me. i can't help but turn inward and see Him. i talk to Him and tell Him my struggles. my anxious thoughts spill from my mouth. He smiles, for He knows all things. i hear His voice. He comforts me, and tells me it's gonna be okay. my heart is overjoyed.


thank you Holy Spirit. i love Your presence in me.

reality check

^{After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, “Come up here"}

^{rev 4:1}

^{Right now our eyes look at the landscape around us and see grass browned by the sun, cars speeding around as though they were actually doing something important, beleaguered people bent beneath the weight of the day bearing down upon their weary shoulders…just normal, everyday, life. Yet at the very same moment, somewhere beyond reckoning, upon a deep blue expanse, living creatures cry out at the sight of unthinkable beauty, elders fall, the voices of angels resound through the heavenly assembly. Covered with eyes, the burning ones surrounding His throne gaze upon Him with ever replenishing wonder.}

^-s.v.