building a history

Jesus, let the moments that i sit before you with an open heart be the building blocks of a relationship that lasts for eternity. i will get to spend the rest of eternity knowing you but let my short time here on earth not go to waste. nothing on earth lasts, everything is so meaningless apart from you. i want to be well acquainted the familiarity of your nearness, to have faith that comes as easy as breathing, and to know who you are as my dearest friend. i want you to be the first thing i consider in all that i do. i want to be as aware of your indwelling presence as i am aware of my own beating heart. what are you thinking, what are you feeling, God, i have to know. I want to be one with you, to be moved by what moves you and to know exactly just what pleases you the most. i know that when i stand before you all that i will be able to give you is a heart that has loved you well. to hear you tell me "well done good and faithful servant", and to enter into the joy of fullness of fellowship with you. though the seasons may change, let your constant faithfulness and pursuit of my heart be the anchor and plumb line that reminds me of my life's goal, to spend the rest of my days building a deep rich history with you. to laugh with you, cry with you, sit with you, discover you, search for you, wait for you, find you, gaze at you, to walk with you, sing to you, talk to you, delight in you, search for you, wrestle with you, struggle with you, cling on to you, run with you, lean into you, be with you.

God, do not leave me alone

My son,
I could have left you to safe little world, your little bubble
I could have left you to your comfortable life
But son,
I love you too much to leave you to the smallness of what you know
I love you too much to leave you to yourself

~~~

God, I love you, i worship You
Lord do not leave me alone
I have got to know you
I have got to see you
I have got to have you
I want everything you've got for me
Lord do not leave me to myself
As painful as it may feel
Interrupt my life if you have to
Test me if you have to
Do whatever it takes
But come to me, visit me, reveal yourself to me   

learning to be a child, again

"be still", He says, as His big, steady hand grasps mine.
"isn't this way so much better?" He asks. "watch me, see how easy it is when we do it together. My son, you just wait and see what I can do."

i'll go wherever You go, Dad. as long as You're going to be a part of it, i'll go anywhere for you.