for such a time as this

LORD, there's such a sense of urgency on my heart now. the time is NOW. LORD, I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN ANYMORE. God, who am I to do anything to change the lives of those around me? to change this campus?

God, the time has come when it is no longer about me when i share about you. a time has come where i share a message with the power that Paul had, a message:
"not with wise and persuasive words, but a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."
1 corinth. 2:4

LORD, show us your power!

God, who am i that my words will move hearts? who am i that my words will convince others that you are worth living for? who am i that my words can bring emotional freedom? who am i that my actions can demonstrate your love? who am i that i can speak life into dry bones? who am i to revive dull and weary hearts? God, i am so powerless. God i need you so much. Holy Spirit i need you so much. i'm tired of empty words. God, my actions aren't enough. i need your power. i need your power.

so i'm going on my knees.

HOLY SPIRIT COME. I WELCOME YOU TO COME TO UCSD. COME TOUCH LIVES. RELEASE HEALING POWER, PROPHETIC POWER, EMOTIONAL FREEDOM. REVIVE OUR HEARTS ONCE AGAIN. WE NEED YOU SO MUCH GOD. SHOW US YOUR KINDNESS. FOR YOU DELIGHT IN MERCY. YOU DELIGHT IN RESTORING THE BROKENHEARTED. YOU DELIGHT IN DRAWING US NEAR TO YOU.

and you have been speaking to me,
the spirit and bride say come.
rev. 22:17

oh, and how i want you to come.

~~~

so yea this prayer student revival/awakening thing at IHOP. watch it. 6pm-12am Wed-Sun.
http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000060205

He has been kind to pour out His Spirit at IHOP. and where the Spirit of the LORD is, there is freedom. and lives are being radically transformed, spiritually, emotionally and physically because His presence is manifested and made known in a tangible way. i pray for the same to happen at UCSD. God, that revival will mean that YOU ARE WITH US. and whatever that means, God just come and BE WITH US. heck, who knows what revival looks like, but i do know that it means that your Spirit is present. and we will know it without a doubt because you will do what you love doing:

for you bring restoration.
you bring freedom.
you give us joy.

God, bring us to a place where the in-dwelling of your presence that radically changes lives. that you will speak audibly to hearts, heal us from our brokenness, and that you would encounter and touch us in a tangible way.

so let your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. matt 6:10
show us what heaven is like, God. bring heaven on earth.

bring our hearts back to yours God. restore the first commandment back to first place. remind us what we are living for. and when we are bored with christianity, and worldly pleasures seem so much more attractive, draw us back with your attractive fragrance. God bring us back to our first love, Jesus.

note to self:
1) the year of the LORD's favor
2) red moon rising 24/7 prayer
3) a passion/burden for intercession

thank you LORD for taking me through a season of just me and You. and getting to know Your heart and how i can be closer to You. this is just the beginning.
i pray that i will be found faithful to the end, and at the end of the day i will be at a place where i love the man Jesus more. and need Him more. more than yesterday.

and at the end of the day, i rejoice not for the cool things He does but because my name is written in heaven.

for He loves me.

reminder

it is His love that motivates me to pursue Him
it is His faithfulness that compels me to run hard after Him.
it is His delight that causes me to stand
it is His commitment that is the strength of my life

and yet it's so easy to forget. it's so easy to forget His character, His love, His affections for me. i forget that He is thinking about me all the time. and i forget He delights in me. like really LORD? you delight in me, even now?
and when i forget, i easily lose all motivation to continue to pursue Him.

so today He was kind to remind me,
"eric, I chose your love above all the splendors of the world.
son, you truly are the joy set before me. I gave it all to have you, and now, now you are mine."

so i say YES. i say YES to you, Jesus.

His kindness

He has been so kind to me.

everything He does, screams i love you
everything He is, says i care

what am i that You would love me like you do?
who am i that You should care?

for how weak my love is! and the moment i am overcome by an inability to continue to love Him, when i'm overwhelmed by circumstances, burdens, expectations, failures, insufficiencies, weakness, frustration, confusion, dullness, dissatisfaction, distance, all i have to do is take one glance at His face, oh that face.

and my heart melts

Abba, what are you thinking? what are you feeling?
as i begin to study His emotions for me,
He says,

beloved,
i enjoy your presence,
and i just want you to be with Me.

everything starts to make sense now.
this is where i'm supposed to be.
i was made for this.

so daily, i find myself in the sweetest embrace, with a love i could never earn, a love i had never known. and it's at this place, i'm captivated, enthralled, surrendered to His beauty.

getting lost in the gaze of His eyes
getting lost in the warmth of His smile
come and sweep me away

happy am i, to live a hungry life.
blessed am i, to thirst.
my desire for Him is a gift from within.
He has given me the gift of faith

His mercy flows from His throne like a river
He has been so kind,
to cause me to come and approach Him.
and i am blessed among men.

the power of His spirit of revelation, a glimpse of His heart for me, is beyond words. it is something that is such a gift; love encounters are such a gift from Him. a revelation of His love, an experience of His heart, an encounter with His heart, to experience a heart that has been ravished my mine, brings me to a place where nothing else matters.
it always leaves me ruined, (and in tears)...when i least expect it

recklessly abandoned.
wasted on His affections.

He loves me so much.