the only thing that matters

the scary part about this life is that we only get 70-80 years to prepare for that day where we stand before Him and present to Him our heart. On that day, the only thing that will matter is our heart.

the scary part about life after death is that there is no going back. it's scary because the pain of regret that we could've given more can plague us for eternity. it's scary to think about entering eternity to look back on our short lives, a vapor compared to the expanse of eternity, and regret that we didn't give Him enough.

i want to care about the only thing that matters. i just want a heart that is fully in love.

what it comes down to

So let our hearts consider an aching question—when my eyes first see His, will I know Him? Not just am I saved, but do I deeply know the One who saved me? Will there be memories that flood between us when our eyes finally meet? Will I know the depths of His heart and have let Him into the depths of mine? Will my heart have spent its days in wisdom, storing up a rich history with Jesus? Or will I painfully realize then that He who has loved me, who has eternally desired me, who was meant to be my nearest, most intimate Friend is merely an acquaintance?

How close will my heart be to His in that moment when His eyes stare into mine?

Our moments spent before Him, in this vapor of time we now live, add up to yield a history. In the monotony of our day-by-day, we may sing our little songs to Him, offer whispers of ‘I love You’ and ‘I need You,’ sit with an open Bible and a searching heart, take our stands before Him prayer—but what are these moments to Him? They are the immeasurably precious pieces of the history we are building with our soul’s Beloved. And that history will be the only thing we have to offer Him when we at last stand before His face. And the more we give of ourselves, the deeper our history’s well will reach. Did I give Him my time, my eyes, my affection, dreams, my emotions, my finances, my obedience, my strength—myself?

From http://jonandkinsey.com/presenting-a-history-to-him/#more-410

faithful friend

here's to 25

friendship with God involves trusting Him wherever He leads. oftentimes, He leads to places that don't really make sense to my limited understanding. there are many prayers yet to be answered, and speedy justice yet to be granted. experiences like that can really offend my trust in how I thought a good God should lead. to the rest of the world, continued faith in such a God could be counted as foolishness.

as i turn 25, i'm convinced more than ever before that He leads so well. through the highest of highs, through the valley of the shadow of death, I will follow Him, and know that He never leaves. for a life filled with pain and suffering with Him by my side is infinitely better than an easy, comfortable life without Him.

for 25 years He's been the same. After 25 years there has been no better thing than to trust Jesus Christ. His leadership has never put me to shame. His faithfulness endures. He remains the only solution, the only answer to it all, and i wouldn't for a moment wish for any other way than His way. He intricately planned it all this way because He wanted me. He wanted to do this life together with me. "Together", He says, "let's survive this together."

Here's to 25 more years, 25 more, or 25 more, until the day i see His face.

~~~

And Jesus said, "whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him"
When many of his disciples heard it, they said, "This is a hard saying, who can listen to it?"
But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this, said to them "Do you take offense at this?"
After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him
So Jesus said to the Twelve, "Do you want to go away as well?"
Simon Peter answered him, "Lord to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."
John 6:56-68 (paraphrased)