life these days are filled with a lot of good moments, but nothing quite compares to those moments where i finally quiet my heart to bask in His presence. though i'll admit it isn't glorious every time i make an effort to do so, but the moments like tonight where everything seems to be winding down and not a whole lot is going on my mind, i can finally see Him, and i realize how much i miss Him. i'm finally reminded by how deep of an ocean there is to Him, and how much i have yet to drink in. i don't think i really can put into words how i feel during these moments. it's like a part of me wants to scream at the top of my lungs because it just feels like my head is sticking out of a car moving at 60 miles per hour. it's like this feeling where my heart is moving too fast for my mind to catch up. before i know it, my mind has caught up and i'm left wanting more.
Jesus, i want so much more of these moments. beyond emotion, beyond what my language can express, God. don't let my love grow cold as i'm waiting for you to come home.
12.23.2013
10.09.2013
10.04.2013
Harassed by life, exhausted, we look about us for
somewhere to be quiet, to be genuine, a place of
refreshment. We yearn to restore our spirits in God,
to simply let go in him and gain new strength to go
on living. But we fail to look for him where he is waiting for us,
where he is to be found: in his Son, who is
his Word. Or else we seek for God because there are
a thousand things we want to ask him, and imagine
that we cannot go on living unless they are answered.
We inundate him with problems, with demands for
information, for clues, for an easier path, forgetting
that in his Word he has given us the solution to every
problem and all the details we are capable of grasping
in this life. We fail to listen where God speaks: where
God’s Word rang out in the world once for all, sufficient for all ages,
inexhaustible. Or else we think that
God’s word has been heard on earth for so long that by
now it is almost used up, that it is about time for some
new word, as if we had the right to demand one. We
fail to see that it is we ourselves who are used up and
alienated, whereas the word resounds with the same
vitality and freshness as ever; it is just as near to us as
it always was. “The word is near you, on your lips and
in your heart” (Rom 10:8)
-Hans Urs von Balthasar
somewhere to be quiet, to be genuine, a place of
refreshment. We yearn to restore our spirits in God,
to simply let go in him and gain new strength to go
on living. But we fail to look for him where he is waiting for us,
where he is to be found: in his Son, who is
his Word. Or else we seek for God because there are
a thousand things we want to ask him, and imagine
that we cannot go on living unless they are answered.
We inundate him with problems, with demands for
information, for clues, for an easier path, forgetting
that in his Word he has given us the solution to every
problem and all the details we are capable of grasping
in this life. We fail to listen where God speaks: where
God’s Word rang out in the world once for all, sufficient for all ages,
inexhaustible. Or else we think that
God’s word has been heard on earth for so long that by
now it is almost used up, that it is about time for some
new word, as if we had the right to demand one. We
fail to see that it is we ourselves who are used up and
alienated, whereas the word resounds with the same
vitality and freshness as ever; it is just as near to us as
it always was. “The word is near you, on your lips and
in your heart” (Rom 10:8)
-Hans Urs von Balthasar
if we knew
If we knew,
how beautiful He is, we wouldn't stop gazing at Him
how much His heart moves with just once glance of our eyes, we wouldn't stop loving Him
how much our worship changes things, we wouldn't stop worshipping
how our weak prayers change history, we wouldn't stop praying
how worthy He is, we wouldn't stop seeking Him
how much He loves us, we would spend less time doubting and trying to earn His love
how His love is better than life, we would count our lives as rubbish for the sake of gaining Him
how close He is to us, we would turn to Him and actually talk to Him
how good He really is, we wouldn't stop praising Him
how wise He is, we would never doubt His perfect leadership
how much He desires us, we would desire Him so much more
........
how beautiful He is, we wouldn't stop gazing at Him
how much His heart moves with just once glance of our eyes, we wouldn't stop loving Him
how much our worship changes things, we wouldn't stop worshipping
how our weak prayers change history, we wouldn't stop praying
how worthy He is, we wouldn't stop seeking Him
how much He loves us, we would spend less time doubting and trying to earn His love
how His love is better than life, we would count our lives as rubbish for the sake of gaining Him
how close He is to us, we would turn to Him and actually talk to Him
how good He really is, we wouldn't stop praising Him
how wise He is, we would never doubt His perfect leadership
how much He desires us, we would desire Him so much more
........
7.12.2013
let's make History
i look forward to the day where i stand before Him and watch him open that book where He keeps a record of our History together. it's filled with every little detail of our life together, beginning with the major milestones--the first prayer i prayed to him, the day i accepted Him into my heart, the day i got baptized, the first prayer meeting i lead, etc. the book is big because it's filled with all the details--every worship song sung, every prayer prayed, moments of tears of joy, and moments of fear and unbelief. it'll have a record of every time i looked to Him, every internal dialogue we've had together. it'll include the good, easy seasons, seasons where i felt bored, and seasons of desperation. i'll look to Him, tears in eyes, and come face to face with the full reality that not a moment together was lost. nothing was forgotten. not a single cry of mine reached deaf ears, that He was actively aware and moved by every movement of my heart towards Him. i'll cry because if i only knew how much it moved Him, i would've given Him even more, so much more.
my love don't mean much to the world but,
it means the world to you
my song isn't sung by the world but,
you're teaching angels the tune
my prayers aren't heard by the world but,
you hush heaven when i talk to you
my life is just dust to the world but,
you gave yours so i could be with you
you saved my life when i needed you
i don't know why but you want me
i don't know how but you love me
it don't make sense, but you fought for me
so forever i will sing, i will sing.
you can have it just take all of me
cause you won it bleeding on a tree
you can take me completely
cause you won it on calvary
-zac dinsmore
my love don't mean much to the world but,
it means the world to you
my song isn't sung by the world but,
you're teaching angels the tune
my prayers aren't heard by the world but,
you hush heaven when i talk to you
my life is just dust to the world but,
you gave yours so i could be with you
you saved my life when i needed you
i don't know why but you want me
i don't know how but you love me
it don't make sense, but you fought for me
so forever i will sing, i will sing.
you can have it just take all of me
cause you won it bleeding on a tree
you can take me completely
cause you won it on calvary
-zac dinsmore
5.20.2013
linger a bit longer
i'm learning again about being still and letting Him and enjoy me, and for me to enjoy Him. as the days pass by, things seem to move all the more faster, and i find myself longing to cling to Him stillness.
i'm understanding that its okay to stay a bit longer, to linger and let Him have all of me. no agenda, no purpose other than just to be with Him. when i see Him for who He is, i realize i really don't give Him enough, and eternity may never be enough. but for now, i'll linger a bit longer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y7h6K13z0I
i'm understanding that its okay to stay a bit longer, to linger and let Him have all of me. no agenda, no purpose other than just to be with Him. when i see Him for who He is, i realize i really don't give Him enough, and eternity may never be enough. but for now, i'll linger a bit longer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y7h6K13z0I
3.21.2013
faith
6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6
faith comes down to a perspective change. it's a conscious decision to go against everything that is before us at the moment and change our way of thinking in a way that is in alignment with a God we can't see. sometimes, it comes really easy. other times, our emotions, mindset, circumstance, and every other voice inside of us seems to be telling us to give up, that we are but making a fool out of ourselves.
in these moments, we have a choice. we can choose faith. we can choose to put to death every other force attempting to take hold of our mind, will, and emotions, and to renew our minds (rom 12:2) in the knowledge that He is right by our side. He's more involved in every detail of our life than we could ever realize. the issue isn't that He's not speaking to us, that He's off at a distance, or that He's not present in our lives, but that we've barely scratched the surface of understanding just how much He actually cares about us. if we could just for a moment quiet our busy minds we'd find Him walking right next to us, waiting patiently for the moment we'd realize His unyielding pursuit of our hearts. He'll never give up. He'll just keep waiting.
faith comes down to a perspective change. it's a conscious decision to go against everything that is before us at the moment and change our way of thinking in a way that is in alignment with a God we can't see. sometimes, it comes really easy. other times, our emotions, mindset, circumstance, and every other voice inside of us seems to be telling us to give up, that we are but making a fool out of ourselves.
in these moments, we have a choice. we can choose faith. we can choose to put to death every other force attempting to take hold of our mind, will, and emotions, and to renew our minds (rom 12:2) in the knowledge that He is right by our side. He's more involved in every detail of our life than we could ever realize. the issue isn't that He's not speaking to us, that He's off at a distance, or that He's not present in our lives, but that we've barely scratched the surface of understanding just how much He actually cares about us. if we could just for a moment quiet our busy minds we'd find Him walking right next to us, waiting patiently for the moment we'd realize His unyielding pursuit of our hearts. He'll never give up. He'll just keep waiting.
1.05.2013
2013
and this i know, with my hand in Yours, You will lead me over the mountain, through the valley, to Your fountains, that never run dry.
Jesus, You have won my heart.
Jesus, You have won my heart.
eyes of mercy
an image that keeps coming back to me is one of God dealing cards to me...like poker, except the cards dictate His verdict on my life. He deals me my first card, and it says "mercy". i take it and go through the motions of life. somewhere along the line, i sin, and he deals me a card, and it says "mercy". i enter a season where i feel like He's nowhere to be found, and He deals me a card, and it says "mercy". a day comes where i feel like i just don't have it in me to keep loving Him, and He deals me a card, and it says "mercy". then come days where i feel like complete failure, and i can see is my sin and lack of faithfulness. He deals me a card and its says "mercy".
then it finally hits me. His card is always mercy. was i expecting Him to deal me anything other than mercy? His eyes of mercy are irresistible. the best part is, He delights in showing me mercy (micah 7:18). i can't help but keep coming back.
in my weakness, I realize His love is so strong. He's so faithful. He's so safe. He's on my side. He doesn't care about how many times i'm going to fail. He doesn't care about how many times i fall short. all He cares about is that i came back to Him, and He's ready to show me mercy.
His yoke is so easy. His burden is so light. i'm holding on, God.
then it finally hits me. His card is always mercy. was i expecting Him to deal me anything other than mercy? His eyes of mercy are irresistible. the best part is, He delights in showing me mercy (micah 7:18). i can't help but keep coming back.
in my weakness, I realize His love is so strong. He's so faithful. He's so safe. He's on my side. He doesn't care about how many times i'm going to fail. He doesn't care about how many times i fall short. all He cares about is that i came back to Him, and He's ready to show me mercy.
His yoke is so easy. His burden is so light. i'm holding on, God.
1.02.2013
Jesus, let me see Your beauty
what do the creatures and elders see that moves them to give unceasing worship, from eternity past and eternity to come? oh that i would see what they see.
let incense arise
beauty beauty beautiful
glory glory glorious
You are
You are
take me into your throne room
let me see your beauty
let me see your face
i will write a wedding song
it's a noble thing i sing
and my heart it overflows with a love song to the king
and you're the most excellent of men
and your words are filled with grace
God's favor rests upon you
joy is shining in your face
Jesus, You're the most excellent
You are so beautiful
there is no one like You
from the start you had a plan
a companion by your side
perfected in your love
a pure and spotless bride
and then i knew you'd call my name
it's the sweetest voice i know
i will leave it all behind, Lord
where you go i will go
and the music of the streams make you glad
and the fragrance of my praise is all over you, all over you
let incense arise
beauty beauty beautiful
glory glory glorious
You are
You are
take me into your throne room
let me see your beauty
let me see your face
i will write a wedding song
it's a noble thing i sing
and my heart it overflows with a love song to the king
and you're the most excellent of men
and your words are filled with grace
God's favor rests upon you
joy is shining in your face
Jesus, You're the most excellent
You are so beautiful
there is no one like You
from the start you had a plan
a companion by your side
perfected in your love
a pure and spotless bride
and then i knew you'd call my name
it's the sweetest voice i know
i will leave it all behind, Lord
where you go i will go
and the music of the streams make you glad
and the fragrance of my praise is all over you, all over you
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