all my devotion belongs to this Man
just give me Jesus
10.29.2010
10.28.2010
the sovereignty of God
as i continue to wrestle with God in the place of prayer, time and time again i find myself getting slammed.
i like to ask God for the salvation of souls, for God to move in the hearts of my non-christian friends, and for God to bring physical healing. many times, i find myself hitting a wall. the question has been: God, why not now? why not? are not my prayers in line with the desires of your heart? am i not coming into agreement for your desires for this world?
this happens frequently in the place of healing: God, am i really asking too much for you to show up and heal this sprained ankle? this headache? this sore throat? you've done it before! what bad can possibly come out of you showing up and demonstrating your physical, tangible love? what good comes out of another unanswered prayer for healing?
it also happens in the contending for salvation: God, why don't you just do something right now? why don't you just soften his/her heart so that he/she may come to know the extent of your love and your work on the cross?
~~~
wrestling with these unanswered prayers have led me to reflect on the sovereignty of God. yes, God is a good God who desires good for me and this world. Yes, He is a God who desires mercy over judgment. yes, He is gracious, merciful, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love. however, at the same time, God is God. and i am not. God can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. who am i to question the perfect wisdom and timing of God? who am i to say that i know better than God? heck, who am i that You are mindful of me? yet you hear me when i call.
as i take another look at the old testament, one theme repeated itself over and over: the sovereignty of God. the old testament clearly establishes the power of God, and instills a fear of the LORD, a reverence in the people. whether it is a flood or seven plagues, God makes it clear that anyone that chooses to go against Him will perish.
unfortunately, as a generation of christians that tends to focus on the new testament concepts of grace, mercy, and love, we tend to forget about the sovereignty of God. we forget that God has the power to create life and with it, the power to take away. as a result, we now take a look at the old testament and we get offended by the God we are reading about. how can God smite people like that? how can God send a plague to kill thousands? how can God just harden and soften hearts like that?
without the sovereignty of God established in our lives, we easily become offended when God does not answer our prayers, or when things do not go our way. we get offended when God doesn't heal our dying parent of cancer. we get offended at God when we pray for years and years for restoration in our family, and nothing seems to happen.(if anything, things seem to be getting worse). we get offended at God when we pray for the salvation of our non-christian family member, non-christian friend, and nothing seems to get better.
with an understanding of the sovereignty of God, who are we to question His ways? who are we to question His perfect wisdom and understanding? yes, i don't know why God does things that He does. but I know that He does. and the only thing that he requires of me is to allow him to be God and me to be me, and let it be. God, you know best. always. Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Your ways are higher than my ways. always.
an understanding of the sovereignty of God gives me a fuller picture of the character of God. it does, however, throw a wrench into the very basis of prayer. if in the end, God is sovereign and He can do whatever He wants, then why do we even bother praying?
i don't know too much. but i do know:
1) i pray because Jesus prayed. prayer is a command from God Himself, to come into agreement with the desires of His heart and pray them into reality.
2) i pray because i believe that i have the power to move God's heart. i say that because the prophets did. and because of the work of the cross, Christ has given me the same authority. i believe that like moses, jeremiah, and isaiah, human beings (christians) have the power to change God's mind. despite His sovereignty, i believe that God can choose whether or not to be influenced by one force, and that is the prayers of His people. think about that.
the thinker in me continues.
i like to ask God for the salvation of souls, for God to move in the hearts of my non-christian friends, and for God to bring physical healing. many times, i find myself hitting a wall. the question has been: God, why not now? why not? are not my prayers in line with the desires of your heart? am i not coming into agreement for your desires for this world?
this happens frequently in the place of healing: God, am i really asking too much for you to show up and heal this sprained ankle? this headache? this sore throat? you've done it before! what bad can possibly come out of you showing up and demonstrating your physical, tangible love? what good comes out of another unanswered prayer for healing?
it also happens in the contending for salvation: God, why don't you just do something right now? why don't you just soften his/her heart so that he/she may come to know the extent of your love and your work on the cross?
~~~
wrestling with these unanswered prayers have led me to reflect on the sovereignty of God. yes, God is a good God who desires good for me and this world. Yes, He is a God who desires mercy over judgment. yes, He is gracious, merciful, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love. however, at the same time, God is God. and i am not. God can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. who am i to question the perfect wisdom and timing of God? who am i to say that i know better than God? heck, who am i that You are mindful of me? yet you hear me when i call.
as i take another look at the old testament, one theme repeated itself over and over: the sovereignty of God. the old testament clearly establishes the power of God, and instills a fear of the LORD, a reverence in the people. whether it is a flood or seven plagues, God makes it clear that anyone that chooses to go against Him will perish.
unfortunately, as a generation of christians that tends to focus on the new testament concepts of grace, mercy, and love, we tend to forget about the sovereignty of God. we forget that God has the power to create life and with it, the power to take away. as a result, we now take a look at the old testament and we get offended by the God we are reading about. how can God smite people like that? how can God send a plague to kill thousands? how can God just harden and soften hearts like that?
without the sovereignty of God established in our lives, we easily become offended when God does not answer our prayers, or when things do not go our way. we get offended when God doesn't heal our dying parent of cancer. we get offended at God when we pray for years and years for restoration in our family, and nothing seems to happen.(if anything, things seem to be getting worse). we get offended at God when we pray for the salvation of our non-christian family member, non-christian friend, and nothing seems to get better.
with an understanding of the sovereignty of God, who are we to question His ways? who are we to question His perfect wisdom and understanding? yes, i don't know why God does things that He does. but I know that He does. and the only thing that he requires of me is to allow him to be God and me to be me, and let it be. God, you know best. always. Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Your ways are higher than my ways. always.
an understanding of the sovereignty of God gives me a fuller picture of the character of God. it does, however, throw a wrench into the very basis of prayer. if in the end, God is sovereign and He can do whatever He wants, then why do we even bother praying?
i don't know too much. but i do know:
1) i pray because Jesus prayed. prayer is a command from God Himself, to come into agreement with the desires of His heart and pray them into reality.
2) i pray because i believe that i have the power to move God's heart. i say that because the prophets did. and because of the work of the cross, Christ has given me the same authority. i believe that like moses, jeremiah, and isaiah, human beings (christians) have the power to change God's mind. despite His sovereignty, i believe that God can choose whether or not to be influenced by one force, and that is the prayers of His people. think about that.
the thinker in me continues.
10.27.2010
the heart of intercession
i never saw myself as an "intercessor". i never liked labels like that, or hearing people say that they have been "called to intercession". Jesus commanded all of us to pray for the harvest right? then in my opinion, we are all called to intercession in one way or another.
these past few weeks i have been wrestling with God in the area of intercession. i realized that i have been praying the same prayers over UCSD for the past 4 years. for the past 4 years i've lost count of the number of times i have asked Him to "send revival", to "pour out His Spirit", and for the "fullness of His kingdom to come on earth at UCSD as it is in heaven". what have i done wrong, God? did i not pray enough? not with enough conviction? not with enough intensity? what did i miss? help me to know i am on the right track.
this week as i wrestled with entering into another season of prayer and fasting, i couldn't but help to feel weary and disappointed. broken dreams, unmet expectations, a sense of hopelessness began to flood me. God, i've fasted and prayed many times before already. how is this time going to be any different? God, do you really love this campus more than i do? if you do, why don't you just move and do something already? <--childish side of me
i began to doubt even the most basic foundational truths of prayer. lies began to fill me (how i hate you devil!) God, do you even hear my prayers? do my broken, weak, inconsistent prayers even make a difference? would the spiritual environment have been any different had i not prayed?
i even began to wrestle with basic questions like "why pray?". as a leader of prayer on this campus, it seemed like a pretty ridiculous and embarrassing thing to be asking. it definitely showed how much faith i (did not) have.
as i waited upon the LORD, He brought me back to the heart of intercession. God, help me to pray not to see things happen, or for tangible results. forgive me for the times i have put results above having you. help me to know that you are sovereign. that you are God and that your timing and your ways are perfect. forgive me for thinking that i know better. forgive me for making it about me me me me and not you you you you.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
isaiah 55:8
yes, i know without a doubt God has been moving in many ways. i'm just really stubborn and not easily satisfied.
there has to be more.
until then, i will keep praying. i will keep asking.
there has to be more.
these past few weeks i have been wrestling with God in the area of intercession. i realized that i have been praying the same prayers over UCSD for the past 4 years. for the past 4 years i've lost count of the number of times i have asked Him to "send revival", to "pour out His Spirit", and for the "fullness of His kingdom to come on earth at UCSD as it is in heaven". what have i done wrong, God? did i not pray enough? not with enough conviction? not with enough intensity? what did i miss? help me to know i am on the right track.
this week as i wrestled with entering into another season of prayer and fasting, i couldn't but help to feel weary and disappointed. broken dreams, unmet expectations, a sense of hopelessness began to flood me. God, i've fasted and prayed many times before already. how is this time going to be any different? God, do you really love this campus more than i do? if you do, why don't you just move and do something already? <--childish side of me
i began to doubt even the most basic foundational truths of prayer. lies began to fill me (how i hate you devil!) God, do you even hear my prayers? do my broken, weak, inconsistent prayers even make a difference? would the spiritual environment have been any different had i not prayed?
i even began to wrestle with basic questions like "why pray?". as a leader of prayer on this campus, it seemed like a pretty ridiculous and embarrassing thing to be asking. it definitely showed how much faith i (did not) have.
as i waited upon the LORD, He brought me back to the heart of intercession. God, help me to pray not to see things happen, or for tangible results. forgive me for the times i have put results above having you. help me to know that you are sovereign. that you are God and that your timing and your ways are perfect. forgive me for thinking that i know better. forgive me for making it about me me me me and not you you you you.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
isaiah 55:8
yes, i know without a doubt God has been moving in many ways. i'm just really stubborn and not easily satisfied.
there has to be more.
until then, i will keep praying. i will keep asking.
there has to be more.
10.25.2010
breathe
1O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
2You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,"
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
13For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
17How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
19Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20 They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain!
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
23Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
-psalm 139
~~~
You Know me so intimately.
2You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,"
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
13For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
17How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
19Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20 They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain!
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
23Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
-psalm 139
~~~
You Know me so intimately.
10.23.2010
the thinker in me
culmination of thoughts at 4am in the morning...haha
Jesus, you are a man of extremes.
You were so irrelevant. you spoke in parables and you talked about eating your flesh and drinking your blood.
yet, you were so relevant. you spoke in shepherd and farming analogies to make sense to those in the crowds following you.
You were impersonal when You preached to the crowds and fed thousands upon thousands.
yet You are the most personable person we will ever come to know--even in the midst of the crowd, Your eyes were upon the bleeding woman. you knew her intimately and you called her daughter. You hold the keys to unlock every heart.
You never cared about numbers. You preached a message that offended others.
yet you had thousands following you.
You didn’t preach to please men. You preached an insulting, difficult, discomforting, convicting message. You infuriated pharisees, and depressed the rich young ruler. You didn’t preach an easy message. You talked about the narrow road, the call to follow You requires the selling of all possessions, and a call to death to self.
yet Your message pleased many men. it was message for the sick, and the broken; it was a message for those like the bleeding woman and the samaritan woman, You preached a message of life, hope, peace, healing, redemption, and restoration. You speak words that we long to hear, you speak hope to the hopeless, a message of abundant life, and you bring joy to those who have nothing to be joyful about.
Jesus didn’t walk around with the gospel message on His shirt. Jesus wasn’t a broken record, on auto-pilot, preaching about the depravity of man, our sinfulness and our need to repent to every person He encountered. rather, He met people right where they were at, and every encounter was one that pointed to the heart of the Father. every encounter Jesus had with another brought that person closer to the heart of God.
as a follower of Jesus for over 13 years, I am realizing more and more that the bible holds a message that is black and white. my roommate was right. i’m realizing that the message of Jesus is a message of no compromise, no grey area. you are either hot or cold, not lukewarm. you are either following Jesus or you are not. you are either gratifying the flesh or gratifying the desire of the Spirit within you. you are either saying yes or no to Jesus. you either love the world or you reject it. you either love sin or hate sin. black and white.
however, the understanding of the black and white gospel is something that i’m just beginning to understand over the past few years. I wonder if I would have accepted or even come close to understanding the depths of the extreme, radical, revolutionary gospel five, ten, thirteen years ago. despite being born into a christian family, I wonder if I would have felt like such a gospel would be something I could commit to. however, it is only because I have journeyed with the LORD for 13+ years, I can say with confidence that our gospel is a black and white one.
perhaps the gospel message at the beginning of every relationship with Jesus is a grey one? all bible theory, 4 spiritual laws, TULIP aside, perhaps at the beginning of every relationship with Jesus is a gospel message that is simple, and...grey. perhaps it could be as simple as knowing that Jesus loves me and that we want to begin a journey of entering into that. or something that stirs a hunger and desire to know more about the man Christ Jesus. perhaps a grey gospel is the only one which any heart is open and receptive and open to. one that meets people right where they are at. i wonder if the black and white gospel makes sense to me now only because i have spent the past 13 years growing, maturing in my "grey" understanding of the gospel.
i just don't know.
~~~
we can classify Christianity into 3 different camps:
1) the conservative, reformed camp (Piper, John McArthur, Paul Washer)
2) the evangelical, moderate camp (Saddleback, Intervarsity)
3) the charismatic, liberal camp (IHOP, Bethel).
for the purpose for the point i’m making today, the two extreme camps (conservative and charismatic) are actually a lot more similar than we like to admit. (I will explain later)
so that leaves us with two camps: the extreme camps and the moderate camps. each camp has one major purpose. here are my observations:
1) the extreme camps preaches a gospel focusing on the fullness of truth, so that Christ may be glorified. the extreme camps tend not to please man in their preaching and interpretation of the gospel, neither do they care about their reputation. the extreme camps have no fear of being irrelevant to this world, neither are they fearful of being misunderstood or rejected. (“we seek the approval of God and do not serve to please men, do we not?" gal 1:10) once again, i will put both conservatives and charismatics in this camp. the only difference is on one hand you have the charismatics who are not afraid to manifest and blabber openly in tongues and the other hand you have the conservatives who have no fear being hated and rejected by this world, preaching a black and white gospel of the depravity of man and the extent of man's sinfulness.
the extreme camp has a tendency to criticize and judge and often preaches against "lukewarm" christians. ("i know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!” revelation 3:15). oftentimes, their preaching is aimed at conviction and criticism of the church for being too worldly (“do not love the world or anything in the world.” 1 john 2:15) the extreme camps are often guilty of self-righteousness, the spirit of performance, and religion. this camp often labels themselves as "radicals" for Jesus, unafraid of being irrelevant, Spirit filled Jesus Freaks or Bible-Wielding preachers.
many of those in the extreme camp don’t believe in the need to preach in a way to engage the crowd. they don’t believe in a gospel that needs to be “watered down” or particularly relevant in order to be followed. they believe in the full power of the work and conviction of the Holy Spirit, so they preach in a direct manner.
2) the evangelical, more moderate camps preaches a gospel that is relevant (“to the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews.” 1 corinth 9:20). their gospel is one that uses analogies, nuances, and “interpretive lenses”. such preaching may include contemporary analogies, funny stories, and jokes to engage the crowd. they use pizza, good music, and free stuff to lure in the masses. they tend to preach a crowd-friendly gospel, often times with the danger of deviating towards a “prosperity gospel”, or a gospel that people want to hear to make them feel better about themselves. compared to the extreme camp, the evangelical gospel is crowd-friendly and seeker-friendly. they know how to relate to people by preaching a gospel that meets people right where they are at. however, this type of gospel can leave “mature”, life-long christians feeling "unfed", bored, and stagnant.
the gospel of the evangelical church can be criticized as a gospel that is shallow, "watered down", or just not deep enough.
the question is, what type of gospel did Jesus preach? what type of gospel would Jesus preach today?
though there will always be exceptions to the way God works in hearts, my observation is that the gospel most people accept at the beginning of their relationship with Jesus is the moderate gospel. I like to call it the entry point. here you find the vacation bible school children who innocently raise their hands choosing to accept Jesus into their hearts, as well as the youth group retreats where teary-eyed, emotional teens on a “spiritual high” commit/rededicate their lives, and finally you have the hundreds who stand up at Intervarsity large groups. more often than not, such people stand not entirely sure why they stood. oftentimes, because they were preached a grey, friendly, moderate gospel, those who respond have no clear idea of the gospel. they know little to nothing about their sinfulness, their need for repentance, let alone what Jesus even did on that cross. however, despite the lack of knowledge and truth in their understanding, their response is usually very genuine and simple--they felt convicted by the Holy Spirit to say yes, to take one step closer to God, whatever that means.
at this point, for these souls, the future remains unclear. at this point, 2 fates remain:
1) they can choose to vegetate--remain in this state, continue to live the same life, and do not pray or read the bible. these are the ones criticized for experiencing just an “emotional high” as they “fall away” or go back to their worldly lifestyles. here we find our “nominal” or “lukewarm” christians, ones who label themselves as christians, but are not walking the talk. at this point, insert many of those born into christian families--those who have gone to church their entire life but remain unchanged. here are some of your most dangerous christians--those who think they are doing well, have their ticket to heaven, but those who are doing just enough church to get out of hell but just enough sin to still be cool. these are your dangerous christians who claim to be christians but do everything opposite of who Jesus is, and display every work of the flesh (sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, division, envy, drunkenness, orgies” gal 5:19). these are the christians that break God’s heart, for they can claim to be followers of Christ yet do anything and everything that is not of Him, forever tainting the face of Jesus and all the good that He represents.
2) they can begin a life-long love relationship with Jesus, seeking after the heart of God. these are the ones who die to self, pick up their cross, and follow Christ in wholehearted abandonment, pursuing a lifestyle of holiness and righteousness. these are the ones who will give themselves no rest as they seek God’s face, living a lifestyle of repentance (“search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” psalm 139:23). these are the ones who will be willing to die for Christ than live a lukewarm life. these are the ones giving themselves to be people of the first and second commandment--to love God with all their heart soul strength and mind, and to love others with the same love (luke 10:27). these are the ones giving their lives to find eternal life in the knowledge of God (john 17:3). these are the ones who dedicate their lives to prayer and the word of God, ones committed to wholehearted devotion to Christ. through spending time daily with the LORD in the secret place, these are the ones filled with the Holy Spirit, the One who convicts sin and tangibly manifests such fruits as (“love, joy peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.” gal 5:22)
knowing these two groups, the question as ministers of the gospel remains: how do we preach the gospel? and after preaching the gospel, how do we prevent a generation of (fate 1) carnal Christians and how do we raise up a generation of (fate 2) radical, fearlessly abandoned lovers of Jesus?
do you have compassion for those who are lost? just how much do you love the lost?
are you going to preach the true, blunt, black and white extreme gospel regardless of how others going to be receptive to it?
or are you going to preach a simple, “watered down” version of the gospel, something as simple as a small an act of love, a simple “Jesus loves you and is pleased with you”, anything that they will remember, anything to bring them one step closer to God and to point them to God?
I don’t know. haha.
shoot, just read the bible and do what Jesus did.
oh, and never stop praying.
Jesus, you are a man of extremes.
You were so irrelevant. you spoke in parables and you talked about eating your flesh and drinking your blood.
yet, you were so relevant. you spoke in shepherd and farming analogies to make sense to those in the crowds following you.
You were impersonal when You preached to the crowds and fed thousands upon thousands.
yet You are the most personable person we will ever come to know--even in the midst of the crowd, Your eyes were upon the bleeding woman. you knew her intimately and you called her daughter. You hold the keys to unlock every heart.
You never cared about numbers. You preached a message that offended others.
yet you had thousands following you.
You didn’t preach to please men. You preached an insulting, difficult, discomforting, convicting message. You infuriated pharisees, and depressed the rich young ruler. You didn’t preach an easy message. You talked about the narrow road, the call to follow You requires the selling of all possessions, and a call to death to self.
yet Your message pleased many men. it was message for the sick, and the broken; it was a message for those like the bleeding woman and the samaritan woman, You preached a message of life, hope, peace, healing, redemption, and restoration. You speak words that we long to hear, you speak hope to the hopeless, a message of abundant life, and you bring joy to those who have nothing to be joyful about.
Jesus didn’t walk around with the gospel message on His shirt. Jesus wasn’t a broken record, on auto-pilot, preaching about the depravity of man, our sinfulness and our need to repent to every person He encountered. rather, He met people right where they were at, and every encounter was one that pointed to the heart of the Father. every encounter Jesus had with another brought that person closer to the heart of God.
as a follower of Jesus for over 13 years, I am realizing more and more that the bible holds a message that is black and white. my roommate was right. i’m realizing that the message of Jesus is a message of no compromise, no grey area. you are either hot or cold, not lukewarm. you are either following Jesus or you are not. you are either gratifying the flesh or gratifying the desire of the Spirit within you. you are either saying yes or no to Jesus. you either love the world or you reject it. you either love sin or hate sin. black and white.
however, the understanding of the black and white gospel is something that i’m just beginning to understand over the past few years. I wonder if I would have accepted or even come close to understanding the depths of the extreme, radical, revolutionary gospel five, ten, thirteen years ago. despite being born into a christian family, I wonder if I would have felt like such a gospel would be something I could commit to. however, it is only because I have journeyed with the LORD for 13+ years, I can say with confidence that our gospel is a black and white one.
perhaps the gospel message at the beginning of every relationship with Jesus is a grey one? all bible theory, 4 spiritual laws, TULIP aside, perhaps at the beginning of every relationship with Jesus is a gospel message that is simple, and...grey. perhaps it could be as simple as knowing that Jesus loves me and that we want to begin a journey of entering into that. or something that stirs a hunger and desire to know more about the man Christ Jesus. perhaps a grey gospel is the only one which any heart is open and receptive and open to. one that meets people right where they are at. i wonder if the black and white gospel makes sense to me now only because i have spent the past 13 years growing, maturing in my "grey" understanding of the gospel.
i just don't know.
~~~
we can classify Christianity into 3 different camps:
1) the conservative, reformed camp (Piper, John McArthur, Paul Washer)
2) the evangelical, moderate camp (Saddleback, Intervarsity)
3) the charismatic, liberal camp (IHOP, Bethel).
for the purpose for the point i’m making today, the two extreme camps (conservative and charismatic) are actually a lot more similar than we like to admit. (I will explain later)
so that leaves us with two camps: the extreme camps and the moderate camps. each camp has one major purpose. here are my observations:
1) the extreme camps preaches a gospel focusing on the fullness of truth, so that Christ may be glorified. the extreme camps tend not to please man in their preaching and interpretation of the gospel, neither do they care about their reputation. the extreme camps have no fear of being irrelevant to this world, neither are they fearful of being misunderstood or rejected. (“we seek the approval of God and do not serve to please men, do we not?" gal 1:10) once again, i will put both conservatives and charismatics in this camp. the only difference is on one hand you have the charismatics who are not afraid to manifest and blabber openly in tongues and the other hand you have the conservatives who have no fear being hated and rejected by this world, preaching a black and white gospel of the depravity of man and the extent of man's sinfulness.
the extreme camp has a tendency to criticize and judge and often preaches against "lukewarm" christians. ("i know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!” revelation 3:15). oftentimes, their preaching is aimed at conviction and criticism of the church for being too worldly (“do not love the world or anything in the world.” 1 john 2:15) the extreme camps are often guilty of self-righteousness, the spirit of performance, and religion. this camp often labels themselves as "radicals" for Jesus, unafraid of being irrelevant, Spirit filled Jesus Freaks or Bible-Wielding preachers.
many of those in the extreme camp don’t believe in the need to preach in a way to engage the crowd. they don’t believe in a gospel that needs to be “watered down” or particularly relevant in order to be followed. they believe in the full power of the work and conviction of the Holy Spirit, so they preach in a direct manner.
2) the evangelical, more moderate camps preaches a gospel that is relevant (“to the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews.” 1 corinth 9:20). their gospel is one that uses analogies, nuances, and “interpretive lenses”. such preaching may include contemporary analogies, funny stories, and jokes to engage the crowd. they use pizza, good music, and free stuff to lure in the masses. they tend to preach a crowd-friendly gospel, often times with the danger of deviating towards a “prosperity gospel”, or a gospel that people want to hear to make them feel better about themselves. compared to the extreme camp, the evangelical gospel is crowd-friendly and seeker-friendly. they know how to relate to people by preaching a gospel that meets people right where they are at. however, this type of gospel can leave “mature”, life-long christians feeling "unfed", bored, and stagnant.
the gospel of the evangelical church can be criticized as a gospel that is shallow, "watered down", or just not deep enough.
the question is, what type of gospel did Jesus preach? what type of gospel would Jesus preach today?
though there will always be exceptions to the way God works in hearts, my observation is that the gospel most people accept at the beginning of their relationship with Jesus is the moderate gospel. I like to call it the entry point. here you find the vacation bible school children who innocently raise their hands choosing to accept Jesus into their hearts, as well as the youth group retreats where teary-eyed, emotional teens on a “spiritual high” commit/rededicate their lives, and finally you have the hundreds who stand up at Intervarsity large groups. more often than not, such people stand not entirely sure why they stood. oftentimes, because they were preached a grey, friendly, moderate gospel, those who respond have no clear idea of the gospel. they know little to nothing about their sinfulness, their need for repentance, let alone what Jesus even did on that cross. however, despite the lack of knowledge and truth in their understanding, their response is usually very genuine and simple--they felt convicted by the Holy Spirit to say yes, to take one step closer to God, whatever that means.
at this point, for these souls, the future remains unclear. at this point, 2 fates remain:
1) they can choose to vegetate--remain in this state, continue to live the same life, and do not pray or read the bible. these are the ones criticized for experiencing just an “emotional high” as they “fall away” or go back to their worldly lifestyles. here we find our “nominal” or “lukewarm” christians, ones who label themselves as christians, but are not walking the talk. at this point, insert many of those born into christian families--those who have gone to church their entire life but remain unchanged. here are some of your most dangerous christians--those who think they are doing well, have their ticket to heaven, but those who are doing just enough church to get out of hell but just enough sin to still be cool. these are your dangerous christians who claim to be christians but do everything opposite of who Jesus is, and display every work of the flesh (sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, division, envy, drunkenness, orgies” gal 5:19). these are the christians that break God’s heart, for they can claim to be followers of Christ yet do anything and everything that is not of Him, forever tainting the face of Jesus and all the good that He represents.
2) they can begin a life-long love relationship with Jesus, seeking after the heart of God. these are the ones who die to self, pick up their cross, and follow Christ in wholehearted abandonment, pursuing a lifestyle of holiness and righteousness. these are the ones who will give themselves no rest as they seek God’s face, living a lifestyle of repentance (“search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” psalm 139:23). these are the ones who will be willing to die for Christ than live a lukewarm life. these are the ones giving themselves to be people of the first and second commandment--to love God with all their heart soul strength and mind, and to love others with the same love (luke 10:27). these are the ones giving their lives to find eternal life in the knowledge of God (john 17:3). these are the ones who dedicate their lives to prayer and the word of God, ones committed to wholehearted devotion to Christ. through spending time daily with the LORD in the secret place, these are the ones filled with the Holy Spirit, the One who convicts sin and tangibly manifests such fruits as (“love, joy peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.” gal 5:22)
knowing these two groups, the question as ministers of the gospel remains: how do we preach the gospel? and after preaching the gospel, how do we prevent a generation of (fate 1) carnal Christians and how do we raise up a generation of (fate 2) radical, fearlessly abandoned lovers of Jesus?
do you have compassion for those who are lost? just how much do you love the lost?
are you going to preach the true, blunt, black and white extreme gospel regardless of how others going to be receptive to it?
or are you going to preach a simple, “watered down” version of the gospel, something as simple as a small an act of love, a simple “Jesus loves you and is pleased with you”, anything that they will remember, anything to bring them one step closer to God and to point them to God?
I don’t know. haha.
shoot, just read the bible and do what Jesus did.
oh, and never stop praying.
10.21.2010
look up
1If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
-col 3:1-4
eric, do you know who I am?
have you forgotten who I am?
I am your God. i hold your life in the palm of My hands.
eric, lock eyes with Me. don't look to your left, don't look to your right. likewise, don't look to what has happened, nor look at what is to come.
eric, stop looking at yourself, your worries, your struggles, your insecurities, fears, and doubts.
set your eyes upon Me.
Abba, draw me onto your knees. hold me close. let me lay your head against your heart. let me lock eyes with You, never looking elsewhere. take me to that place where i will become so consumed by your gaze that i no longer care about all that is happening around me. maybe then i will finally learn how to be silent when i'm with You.
surrendering,
trusting,
Your leadership is perfect.
-col 3:1-4
eric, do you know who I am?
have you forgotten who I am?
I am your God. i hold your life in the palm of My hands.
eric, lock eyes with Me. don't look to your left, don't look to your right. likewise, don't look to what has happened, nor look at what is to come.
eric, stop looking at yourself, your worries, your struggles, your insecurities, fears, and doubts.
set your eyes upon Me.
Abba, draw me onto your knees. hold me close. let me lay your head against your heart. let me lock eyes with You, never looking elsewhere. take me to that place where i will become so consumed by your gaze that i no longer care about all that is happening around me. maybe then i will finally learn how to be silent when i'm with You.
surrendering,
trusting,
Your leadership is perfect.
10.20.2010
satisfaction
we were created to desire satisfaction. because we were wired to crave satisfaction, we will do whatever it takes to be satisfied. such satisfaction can be found in:
intimate friendships,
the level of our popularity/having a good reputation,
good grades/a secure job/career,
a committed boy/girlfriend/wife/husband,
facebook/TV shows/dramas,
drugs/sex/alcohol
a "successful" ministry,
or empty bible head knowledge,
we seek and begin to worship these things that which do not satisfy. i like to call it idolatry. a big part in the pursuit of holiness and righteousness is to say no to these "lesser lovers", or "idols" and to run hard after the One who satisfies. it is not enough to have a divided heart--one hand holding on to Jesus and the other holding on to any idol we make for ourselves. Jesus demands our all. the journey of a pure and simple devotion, the cultivation of dove's eyes, is found by becoming satisfied in Jesus alone. it is a journey of not being moved by the praise of man, or to have your emotions fluctuate based on what your friends think of you.
in the world we live in today, it has become so easy to forget that nothing apart from God alone satisfies. how easy it is to forget that nothing apart from the man Christ Jesus alone can satisfy! how easy we forget that He is the real joy-giver! here, satisfaction is simply found in a love relationship with Jesus--i move His heart, and He moves mine.
"delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart" ps. 13:4
"You open Your hand; You satisfy the desire of every living thing" ps. 145:16
i know He is the only one that satisfies.
i'd like to know it and believe it with my heart soul strength and mind.
i'd like to live like it.
i'd like to wish that i always believed this promise of His is true.
but LORD, i forget so easily.
time and time again i catch myself looking elsewhere to find something or someone to satisfy.
time and time again i get a glimpse of Your face, and my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach.
i'm undone, ruined for anything apart from You.
everything i ever wanted i've found in You
only You can satisfy my heart's desire
"you are my LORD, apart from You i have no good thing" ps. 16:2
intimate friendships,
the level of our popularity/having a good reputation,
good grades/a secure job/career,
a committed boy/girlfriend/wife/husband,
facebook/TV shows/dramas,
drugs/sex/alcohol
a "successful" ministry,
or empty bible head knowledge,
we seek and begin to worship these things that which do not satisfy. i like to call it idolatry. a big part in the pursuit of holiness and righteousness is to say no to these "lesser lovers", or "idols" and to run hard after the One who satisfies. it is not enough to have a divided heart--one hand holding on to Jesus and the other holding on to any idol we make for ourselves. Jesus demands our all. the journey of a pure and simple devotion, the cultivation of dove's eyes, is found by becoming satisfied in Jesus alone. it is a journey of not being moved by the praise of man, or to have your emotions fluctuate based on what your friends think of you.
in the world we live in today, it has become so easy to forget that nothing apart from God alone satisfies. how easy it is to forget that nothing apart from the man Christ Jesus alone can satisfy! how easy we forget that He is the real joy-giver! here, satisfaction is simply found in a love relationship with Jesus--i move His heart, and He moves mine.
"delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart" ps. 13:4
"You open Your hand; You satisfy the desire of every living thing" ps. 145:16
i know He is the only one that satisfies.
i'd like to know it and believe it with my heart soul strength and mind.
i'd like to live like it.
i'd like to wish that i always believed this promise of His is true.
but LORD, i forget so easily.
time and time again i catch myself looking elsewhere to find something or someone to satisfy.
time and time again i get a glimpse of Your face, and my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach.
i'm undone, ruined for anything apart from You.
everything i ever wanted i've found in You
only You can satisfy my heart's desire
"you are my LORD, apart from You i have no good thing" ps. 16:2
10.17.2010
You, whom my soul loves
"scarcely had i passed them
when i found him whom my soul loves.
i held him, and would not let him go"
sos 3:4
i will cling to You
when i found him whom my soul loves.
i held him, and would not let him go"
sos 3:4
i will cling to You
10.15.2010
Your mercies are new every morning
when the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations,
"the LORD has done great things for them."
the LORD has done great things for us;
we are glad.
Restore our fortunes, O LORD,
like streams in the Negeb!
those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!
he who goes out weeping bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
bringing his sheaves with him.
psalm 126
i believe it,
when i see Your face,
it's gonna be worth it all.
You are worth it all.
we were like those who dream.
then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations,
"the LORD has done great things for them."
the LORD has done great things for us;
we are glad.
Restore our fortunes, O LORD,
like streams in the Negeb!
those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!
he who goes out weeping bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
bringing his sheaves with him.
psalm 126
i believe it,
when i see Your face,
it's gonna be worth it all.
You are worth it all.
10.08.2010
one thing i am sure of
He always leave me in a place of uncertainty in order for me to be more certain in Him. He always leave me in a place where i have nothing secure to hold on to, only to leave me clinging to Him. in this place, He reminds me once again that nothing else apart from Him is secure, so i will cling. that is all i know how to do right now. LORD, help me to cling ever so tightly, and never let go.
surrendering is a process.
He begins by taking away security in my own plans, only to leave me scrambling, desperate for a sense of direction found only in His perfect leadership. then it's a process of letting go, submitting to His leadership and His moment by moment whispers. it's a process of abandonment to myself entirely, and a process of giving in, to stop fighting against His ways, to submit, and to follow. it's a process to stop questioning, complaining, and wrestling against His hand at work in my life. for your left hand is under my head, and your right hand embraces me.
give me grace to trust Your name
give me strength to be steady
though many things are uncertain, one thing remains certain,
one thing i am sure of,
that You never leave me,
for You remain faithful to the end
surrendering is a process.
He begins by taking away security in my own plans, only to leave me scrambling, desperate for a sense of direction found only in His perfect leadership. then it's a process of letting go, submitting to His leadership and His moment by moment whispers. it's a process of abandonment to myself entirely, and a process of giving in, to stop fighting against His ways, to submit, and to follow. it's a process to stop questioning, complaining, and wrestling against His hand at work in my life. for your left hand is under my head, and your right hand embraces me.
give me grace to trust Your name
give me strength to be steady
though many things are uncertain, one thing remains certain,
one thing i am sure of,
that You never leave me,
for You remain faithful to the end
10.07.2010
here with me now
the most important thing at any given moment of my life is this: knowing that He is with me. nothing is more important at any conscious, waking moment of my life than knowing that He is here with me in the present, right here, right now.
the word "knowing" now becomes the hardest yet most profound word to grasp. i can know many things. i can know the joshua 1 promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me. i can know that He was with me a year ago, or a few days ago. i can know that He was with me yesterday, or even this morning. i can know that His presence never leaves me and that His Spirit indwells within me for eternity. but at any given moment, no amount of head knowledge or past experience matters unless i know that He is with me right now.
i'm realizing that most of the spiritual disciplines and spiritual formation exercises i've learned focus on knowing God in the present. brother lawrence's "practicing the presence of God", IHOP's "fellowshipping with the Holy Spirit", paul's command to "pray without ceasing", and the practice of "waiting upon God", are focused to achieve this simple yet profound revelation--that the creator God of the universe is here with you, living within you, and He sees you and knows you intimately.
daily, there is an insatiable hunger within the depths of my soul that thirsts, even screams to have this "revelation of revelations". i refuse to sit still or be at peace until i know within my heart of hearts that He is here with me right now. it truly changes everything.
i'm realizing just how much this revelation affects my well being. as a result, i've realized that the enemy uses anything he can to steal and take away this revelation. the enemy loves to overwhelm my mind with thoughts, worries, anxiety, distractions, and consume me with any stupid thought he can think of to prevent me from focusing on His present, indwelling Spirit living inside of me. once overwhelmed, i am quick to forget and i easily tune out the gentle whispers of the Spirit dwelling in me. oh, how i hate you enemy!
to this day, waiting upon God remains the secret to my life. the most life-giving choice i can make is to shut up my abundance of unnecessary thoughts, be still, and know that He is God.
the word "knowing" now becomes the hardest yet most profound word to grasp. i can know many things. i can know the joshua 1 promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me. i can know that He was with me a year ago, or a few days ago. i can know that He was with me yesterday, or even this morning. i can know that His presence never leaves me and that His Spirit indwells within me for eternity. but at any given moment, no amount of head knowledge or past experience matters unless i know that He is with me right now.
i'm realizing that most of the spiritual disciplines and spiritual formation exercises i've learned focus on knowing God in the present. brother lawrence's "practicing the presence of God", IHOP's "fellowshipping with the Holy Spirit", paul's command to "pray without ceasing", and the practice of "waiting upon God", are focused to achieve this simple yet profound revelation--that the creator God of the universe is here with you, living within you, and He sees you and knows you intimately.
daily, there is an insatiable hunger within the depths of my soul that thirsts, even screams to have this "revelation of revelations". i refuse to sit still or be at peace until i know within my heart of hearts that He is here with me right now. it truly changes everything.
i'm realizing just how much this revelation affects my well being. as a result, i've realized that the enemy uses anything he can to steal and take away this revelation. the enemy loves to overwhelm my mind with thoughts, worries, anxiety, distractions, and consume me with any stupid thought he can think of to prevent me from focusing on His present, indwelling Spirit living inside of me. once overwhelmed, i am quick to forget and i easily tune out the gentle whispers of the Spirit dwelling in me. oh, how i hate you enemy!
to this day, waiting upon God remains the secret to my life. the most life-giving choice i can make is to shut up my abundance of unnecessary thoughts, be still, and know that He is God.
10.06.2010
good news
my friend walked into the room, a grim expression upon his face
“my coworker passed away yesterday”
“what do you mean?” I asked
“I went to work today, and she wasn’t there, and they said she died in her sleep”
the room went silent, as the words slowly began to sink in.
my friend began to speak,
“how can I claim to hold the keys to eternal life yet never share the gospel with her? i can’t believe I never got to share the gospel with her.
she was the most selfless person in the office...i could tell she was so hopeless, living a hopeless life. I could tell by the way she carried herself...she said she lived in a trailer home with her mom...that seemed like the only thing she lived for was to take care of her mom...she was always on the phone with her doctors...she always looked so tired...she said she had insomnia, she would go to work in the morning, her eyes dark because she couldn’t fall asleep...i could tell she had no purpose...she never cut her hair, and when people asked her why she said if she did she wouldn’t know how she should get it cut...it reflects how she lived her life...just wandering...just to get through life...without a purpose, without a hope...
how can I claim to know the good news and yet never share it to her? why am I not treating the gospel like it was good news? if the gospel message is such good news, why have I failed to preach it to a woman who needs it the most? if anyone, she would’ve been really open to receive the hope of the gospel. and I failed eric, I failed.”
my friend walked out of the room.
the room fell silent again.
the weight of eternity weighed heavily upon me.
I began to reflect on how death is the ultimate equalizer; that God, perfect in love and perfect in judgment, would use death to level the playing field. that regardless of wealth, fame, social status, there will come a day where we each come face to face with death. in this place, we will find ourselves standing before the judgment seat of God, ready to receive our fate for the rest of eternity.
I was cut to the heart by the reality of souls upon souls that reach eternal death every second of the day. nearly 161 people die every minute; LORD knows if at least 80 souls go to hell and enter into eternal damnation every minute, never given the chance to experience any hope or sense of life again. we are talking about souls. eternity is at stake, and can won or lost in a moment.
the question is this: will you say yes to Jesus?
and if you have said yes to Jesus, where is the sense of urgency? do you not hold in your hand the key to eternal life? do you claim to know the only means to salvation? how can you not share it? is it not good news to you?
one of the most sickening realities about myself and most christians is that I have known all this yet I remain unmoved.
LORD, break my heart for what breaks yours.
“my coworker passed away yesterday”
“what do you mean?” I asked
“I went to work today, and she wasn’t there, and they said she died in her sleep”
the room went silent, as the words slowly began to sink in.
my friend began to speak,
“how can I claim to hold the keys to eternal life yet never share the gospel with her? i can’t believe I never got to share the gospel with her.
she was the most selfless person in the office...i could tell she was so hopeless, living a hopeless life. I could tell by the way she carried herself...she said she lived in a trailer home with her mom...that seemed like the only thing she lived for was to take care of her mom...she was always on the phone with her doctors...she always looked so tired...she said she had insomnia, she would go to work in the morning, her eyes dark because she couldn’t fall asleep...i could tell she had no purpose...she never cut her hair, and when people asked her why she said if she did she wouldn’t know how she should get it cut...it reflects how she lived her life...just wandering...just to get through life...without a purpose, without a hope...
how can I claim to know the good news and yet never share it to her? why am I not treating the gospel like it was good news? if the gospel message is such good news, why have I failed to preach it to a woman who needs it the most? if anyone, she would’ve been really open to receive the hope of the gospel. and I failed eric, I failed.”
my friend walked out of the room.
the room fell silent again.
the weight of eternity weighed heavily upon me.
I began to reflect on how death is the ultimate equalizer; that God, perfect in love and perfect in judgment, would use death to level the playing field. that regardless of wealth, fame, social status, there will come a day where we each come face to face with death. in this place, we will find ourselves standing before the judgment seat of God, ready to receive our fate for the rest of eternity.
I was cut to the heart by the reality of souls upon souls that reach eternal death every second of the day. nearly 161 people die every minute; LORD knows if at least 80 souls go to hell and enter into eternal damnation every minute, never given the chance to experience any hope or sense of life again. we are talking about souls. eternity is at stake, and can won or lost in a moment.
the question is this: will you say yes to Jesus?
and if you have said yes to Jesus, where is the sense of urgency? do you not hold in your hand the key to eternal life? do you claim to know the only means to salvation? how can you not share it? is it not good news to you?
one of the most sickening realities about myself and most christians is that I have known all this yet I remain unmoved.
LORD, break my heart for what breaks yours.
10.05.2010
simple offering
there are still moments where the spirit of performance in me tells me that i'm not giving enough, or that my offering is insufficient. the more i am exposed to the depths of holiness and perfection in the God i serve, the more i feel like i have fallen short in offering a love, a heart, a lifestyle of worship that is worthy of His acceptance, let alone come close to reciprocating what i'm receiving. the more i'm exposed to the magnitude of His kindness, His perfect love, i am left desiring to give Him even more--which usually translates to serve Him more, to pray more, to worship more, to try harder...the list goes on and on...
yet, i keep finding myself falling short.
in other words, because He has been so good to me, there are moments where i feel like i must give something of value in return, yet i keep failing. i realize how weak i am, how little faith i have, and how little trust i have. i realize just how broken my love is, how easily i become distracted, and how easily i can take my eyes off of Him.
here, i realize it's one of those moments of amazing grace where it's not about what i can give, but what He keeps giving me. here, i can trade in all of myself for all of Him. what a glorious exchange of love indeed!
as for me, all i have to offer is a broken and contrite heart.
for you do not delight in sacrifice, or i would give it;
you will not be pleased with burnt offering
the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise
psalm 51:16
You look to the humble and contrite in spirit;
one who trembles at your word
isaiah 66:2
I bring to you a fragrant offering
I pour out my love and I wash your feet
I offer up to you oh LORD this brokenness
what You can see in me will be my confidence
yet, i keep finding myself falling short.
in other words, because He has been so good to me, there are moments where i feel like i must give something of value in return, yet i keep failing. i realize how weak i am, how little faith i have, and how little trust i have. i realize just how broken my love is, how easily i become distracted, and how easily i can take my eyes off of Him.
here, i realize it's one of those moments of amazing grace where it's not about what i can give, but what He keeps giving me. here, i can trade in all of myself for all of Him. what a glorious exchange of love indeed!
as for me, all i have to offer is a broken and contrite heart.
for you do not delight in sacrifice, or i would give it;
you will not be pleased with burnt offering
the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise
psalm 51:16
You look to the humble and contrite in spirit;
one who trembles at your word
isaiah 66:2
I bring to you a fragrant offering
I pour out my love and I wash your feet
I offer up to you oh LORD this brokenness
what You can see in me will be my confidence
constant
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."
The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
lamentations 3:22-26
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."
The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
lamentations 3:22-26
10.04.2010
missions
i look forward to the day He opens a door for me to do missions work in asia. china would be a good place to start.
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