the place of no agenda

there comes a point in any relationship where you reach a level of intimacy called "the place of no agenda." in this place, as you would've guessed, there is no agenda. you spend time with each other with absolutely no agenda, other than just to be with them. you don't need to plan any activities, do things to pass the time, nor even worry about talking to each other. in this place, silence isn't awkward, boring, tense, or uncomfortable. in fact, in the "the place of no agenda",  silence is welcomed, and even embraced. you look each other in the eyes. you blissfully sigh, because you feel so known, so understood. both know what the other is thinking. time flies, and before you know it, hours have passed.

"i will come again and will take you to myself, that where i am you may be also" john 14:3
"Father, i desire that they also...may be with where i am, to see my glory." john 17:24

as i spend time with my Beloved, i realize i know too little about this place. in fact, i am good at anything but this place. i find myself looking for more "things" to do, things that would hopefully pass the time more quickly so i would be able to look back and say that i had a good, "productive" time with Him. yet with Him, it's never about productivity, is it? never is it about gaining a new revelation, or filling my head with more bible knowledge, or a new truth. sure, these things lead us to Him, yet when they become "the end" instead of a "means to an end" (Jesus), you've missed the boat. yet time and time again, i find myself doing just that. i strive and strive and strive for a fresh revelation, sing through some songs, and pray through some prayers, only to neglect the One who lives within me and is sitting right next to me. to whom was i reading about? to whom was i singing to? and to whom was i talking to? the worst feeling is to look back and to realize that i have done so much yet i have forgotten Him. i was too busy occupying myself with "stuff" that i've turned my back on the only One that matters. i don't want to talk about You like You're not in the room.

the beauty of waiting upon the LORD is that it is the only discipline that brings me to the level of intimacy found in "the place of no agenda". here, there is no striving for a new revelation, nor is there forced mediation on a scripture or truth. in this place, there is pure enjoyment. to gaze upon His beauty. to dwell in His courts. to partake in the pleasure found at His right hand, and the fullness of joy and satisfaction in His presence. to open my heart, take delight in Him and for Him to take delight me.

i look Him in the eyes and tell Him how much i love Him. 
i wait.
He tells me how much He loves me.
i blissfully sigh.
we do it all over again.

delight in me. delight in me.

in today's world, we leave too little space for this "root of roots" in our relationship with Jesus. we forget that this place of mutual enjoyment is the first reason of our very existence. it's sad that we neglect the very thing that we will be spending an eternity in heaven captivated by. to join in with the angels, behold the glory of His face, and say with all our heart, soul, strength and mind, i am Yours, You are mine, and we'll be together forever.

all i want,
is to be near You, with You, 
where You are