my Magnificent Obsession

so that's it. He just wants me to be with Him.

it's that simple. to wake up and be able to say "good morning Holy Spirit", to fellowship with Him. to hold His hand daily and enjoy His presence. to live a life full of joy and freedom. to let go, relax, and receive. to enjoy the journey with Him.

and oh, how i love His presence! and how i must be filled by Him!

yet i still forget! i always manage to complicate it. it isn't about finding an answer, or a sudden revelation about His love. nor is it about getting an encounter from Him to satisfy my selfish emotional needs. and i still catch myself trying to rationalize His love, to figure Him out, all His ways and how He works, His thoughts so i can be happy and move on with life. and the moment i think i have Him figured out, He has been kind to stumble me and i realize how foolish and prideful i have been.

and He reveals my weakness. first it's my weakness, compromise and hindrances in loving Him (LORD, remove all things that hinder love!)

more importantly i realize how much i really need Him. and He has finally caused me to lean on Him. of course. as i get to know Him better, He shows me my weakness and just how much i need Him. and how i can't live another moment not knowing His nearness. and how i must be filled. i just have to. i'd rather die than not have His nearness.

and it comes down to simple, childlike love. that i must be always living in a state where i am encountering His love. that in order for me to love Him i must continue to encounter the reality of His delight and favor, love, and affections. and i still need to hear Him call me beloved. lovely. favorite one. to know that I am loved.

oh, how i miss Him! and how much my heart has been aching! how i thirst! how i hunger! and what a blessed place to be! i just can't get enough of Him. it's a sickness, a lovesickness that can't be cured until that day i see Him face to face. because i know there is so much more to Him. it's an obsession, to be possessed by his Holy Spirit (thank you wes).

and He always brings me to the cross. that place where i look straight into the depths of His eyes as He hangs on that tree. and for a moment, deep gazes into deep. and i am overwhelmed by beauty. and the passion of the man Jesus Christ. for me.

misty's new album wrecked me.

then i saw Him there,
hanging on a tree,
looking at me.
He was looking at me, looking at Him, staring through me
i could not escape those beautiful eyes
i began to weep and weep

He had arms wide open, a heat exposed
arms wide open, He was bleeding, bleeding
love's definition was looking at me, looking at Him, hanging on a tree
i began to weep and weep and weep

as i sat there weeping, crying
those beautiful eyes, full of desire and love

this is how i know what love is

~~~

this is the life i choose to live.
to waste my life to know Love.

He is my Magnificent Obsession.