waiting

today when i went to waiting upon God session. i haven't gone for a while, not since i got back from college, but when i got in the room i could feel God's presence so thick in the room. i haven't felt anything like it for a long time, and all i could do was weep. when the worship started all i could do was weep. it was an intimate moment.

waiting upon God is not easy. i don't have the patience to sit and be still for over 10 minutes and let God's love fill me up without being distracted. but i am willing.

the truth is, i can't do it on my own strength. by my own strength and determination i cannot wait upon God. it is by God's grace that we can do it.

in my sin, i stumble upon the foot of the cross. on it, is Jesus, and he is weeping. the ground is covered with his blood. he has been on that cross for so long, because he has been waiting for me. it is so painful, but he waits, because he loves me. throughout my days i have failed to come before him and wait for him. i have been off, living life fulfilling my own selfish desires. his heart is broken. he as been watching me all these days, only to see me ignore him and go my own ways. he weeps. but finally i come to the cross. Jesus wraps his arms around me. his blood covers me. all i can do is weep and wrap my arms around that cross. and weep. and weep. my arms cling to that cross. i never let go. i want to stay in that place forever. in his arms. forever.