worth it all

Jesus, i just want to change the world for you.
but there's times where there seems so much work to be done.
the work never seems to end God, when i realize that the harvest is plentiful and wokers are few and there are dorms that need to be visited, relationships that need to be built, people to meet up with for lunch, GIGs to do, people to pour into, bible studies to prep, prayer meetings to cry out to you God to change me and the people around me and change for this campus and the world.

and Jesus, it's times like these where i feel like i've been stretched beyond i can bear, God.

who am I anyways? i'm not Jesus, shoot. i'm only an imperfect human. a worthless college student who takes 17 units with ochem and biochem and all that nasty junks plus work 10+ hours a week. i can't perform miracles nor heal, and my heart fails to love you God and love others too many times to count and i don't dorm enough and i don't do enough GIGs, and sometimes i could care less about doing any of that stuff cause i sometimes just run out of love and i don't have enough of Jesus' compassion and His heart for the lost and there seems to be so many lost sheep to run after but sometimes i myself am a lost sheep too, and lost sheep running after lost sheep doesn't work, and also cause i'm so busy already and there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in a day and i begin to wonder why following Jesus is so freaking hard and i begin to lose my quiet time in intimacy and i hate hate hate it when that happens and i question do i really want to do dorm team again only to reach this point again and question is all this evangelism worth it as i struggle with seeking the presence of Jesus and a;dlfja;slfdhjas;flj

and Jesus, you expect me to change the world for you?

ack God, and when i reach this point, i can only do one thing. i drop everything and come running to you. and as i allow you to sing over me, i am reminded by your love for me Jesus, and that is all that matters in the world as everything else fades away and all i can do is enjoy this moment of bliss of just you and me Jesus. quite glorious.

i don't understand your ways
oh, but i will give you my song
i will give you all of my praise

you hold on to all my pain
and with it you are pulling me closer
pulling me into your ways

i'm desperate in seeking
and i'm frantic believing
that the sight of your face
is all that i'm needing

i will say to you
it's gonna be worth it

yea God, i'd say you are pretty much worth it.