intimacy with jesus

is a hot topic of life these days. well maybe only for me. haha

with all this talk about God's presence and revival and being filled with the Holy Spirit and breakthrough i can get really confused sometimes. and confused what really is important in my relationship with Jesus. when it's all said and done, what does revival, the presence of God, and breakthrough mean for me and for those around me? why does it mean more to some people than others? ahhhhh

come on. this is the real deal here! this is so much more than about a really good sermon, or a really spiritually exciting message to stir in us a spiritual/emotional high that lasts a few moments. this isn't about another commitment we make with God to do more quiet time or read the bible more or to pray more. this isn't another conviction, a realization of how far we feel from God, and something that we should go get prayer for and get on with life. this isn't about another promise we make with ourselves or with God about how we will do whatever it takes to be a better christian. it's not about going to church more, to go to bible studies more, to read the bible more, to serve more, to do more devotionals so we can get right with God. it isn't about being more christian and doing more christian things. it's not about religion.

I AM SO SICK OF RELIGION. been there. done that. i still fail and get caught up in it sometimes.

but come on. it is about one thing. how much do you really love Jesus? no but really.

gahhhh i don't know where i'm going with this.

it's hard to love Jesus unless we know who He is. it's hard to love someone we can't see or feel. it's especially hard to love to love someone we don't feel love back from. it makes a lot of sense. if we don't experience God, why would we waste our time with something we don't see or feel or know even exists? of course we'd rather be watching TV cause we can see it and hear it and it makes us happy. or go find a boyfriend/girlfriend cause we can hear them tell us how much they love us and they can hug us and all that lovey dovey stuff.

which is why it's so easy to lose faith. no duh. we get really discouraged because we don't experience God's love for us. we don't experience His favor, His delight, His peace, His joy in our daily lives. and we get really discouraged. we don't hear Him tell us how much He loves us. so we give up. which is why it's so easy to turn to other things. cause we don't experience God enough!

which is why intimacy with Jesus soo important to me. cause intimacy with Jesus enables me to experience God every moment of my life. intimacy with Jesus allows me to be filled with His presence daily. i value intimacy with Jesus because i know that when i get up each morning and pray and wait upon His presence, I experience Him! i experience His favor, His delight, His peace, His joy, and His love for me. it fills me up and it gives me a reason to love Him back. to live each day for one thing Jesus.

and once i experience Jesus, i begin to hunger for more. a thirst that wants nothing else but to know Jesus and who He is. to know Him not only in my HEAD but with all my HEART, SOUL, STRENGTH, AND MIND. to do whatever it takes in my life until my heart is fully connected and resonating with every heartbeat of Jesus. i begin to yearn, moan and groan for His presence in my life for the Holy Spirit and i begin to long for a fuller experience of what the love of Jesus really means. it's to the point where i pretty much get addicted to God and if i don't seek out His presence for a while i experience God withdrawal haha and i feel like something isn't right.

intimacy with Jesus. so profound, yet so abstract. so intangible, but so real. so surreal yet so concrete. so simple yet so complicated.

i can't describe what it is like in words. i think i can try but words do no capture the presence of Jesus. head knowledge about what the presence of Jesus is like can never even begin to come close to describing Him. it's like trying to describe disneyland to someone who has never been there before. we can tell them how fun it is, about all the rides, and about the mickey mouse and the whole crew and all that junks but to someone who has never been there, it is just words. one has to EXPERIENCE IT. that's it! we have to experience God to truly know how much He loves us.

which is why we need love encounters. cause once we encounter the love of God we are never the same. we are never the same once we have encountered the love of God.

we need to taste the goodness of God.
taste and see that the Lord is good.
-psalm 34:8

we have to begin somewhere. simply put it is just spending time with Jesus. to open our hearts to experience Him. to look Him in the eye for more than 30 seconds and not be weirded out or distracted. haha dude i never thought it was so hard to look at someone else in the eye for more than 30 seconds.

but that's what Jesus longs for. He freaking created the bajillion cells in our body, all the mitochondria and fatty acids and glucose and junks and yet i still don't have enough time to look at His face and enjoy His love for me. to gaze upon the face that loves me more than i could ever begin to imagine, even given eternity.

relationship with Jesus begins with one thing.

One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
psalm 27:4

COME ON. i need to get it right. we need to get it right.

intimacy with Jesus or bust. haha jkay. not really. sorta.