it's been my desktop for over sixth months now. and for me, that's like a world record because i get bored easily with the appearance of things especially like gmail (praise the Lord for all the variety of themes) and usually change my desktop wallpaper at least once every week. it's like i have ADD or something. woe is me.but i don't think i'm gonna change this wallpaper for a while. probably never. we will see. it conveys an image that i hold very close to my heart. when some people see my wallpaper they are like "oh eric, you are so holy!" and stuff like that but it's not like i'm trying to be holy or anything. it's quite simple. i really love Jesus. and there's no other face i'd rather see than His face. hence, His face on my desktop.
i mean, some people put a picture of their boyfriend/girlfriend, but for me, it's Jesus. hooray! i have Jesus.
but this picture really means alot to me. it is what i live for. it is my purpose in life. when life gets really hectic, when the days fly by, i still need to remember my identity, why i am even put on this earth, why i was created, why i even exist. that i live not for the present, not what is in front of me, but for what is unseen, what is eternal. that one day, i can come face to face with my Lover, my Creator, the one who ravishes my heart, the one whom i yearn for every moment of my life. that i live for one thing, to achieve the prize, to hear Him say welcome home, son, and to give me that embrace, an embrace i have gotten tastes of, oh but i can only begin to imagine what it would be like in heaven!
there are so many images in this picture. first off, the look on His face. it's a mixture of joy, of relief, of comfort, of peace. a yearning finally fulfilled. cause how long He has been waiting for me! that I have finally come home. a look of deep, passionate love.
and i'm in this picture as well! haha. i can only begin to imagine what my face would look like on the other side. probably just a mess. haha. i don't think words can describe it. a mixture of ecstatic joy, so overwhelmed with love beyond my spirit can bear. and as i am in His embrace all my mind can think of is how He loves me so.
and so many other things. in heaven i find Him in all his completeness. the Father's hands welcoming home. the dove, the Holy Spirit descending upon me. Jesus in my embrace. ahhhhhasidfoja;osifdjsd;
and the rainbow. mommy always says the rainbow is a symbol of God's promise. like after he flooded the earth God sent a rainbow as a promise to Noah. and the rainbow is God's promise to me. that this is my purpose: eric fan shi was created for one thing: to love and be loved. that while i am on this earth, as i seek Him and love Him with all my heart soul strength and mind, this is what i will be striving for.
now that gives me a reason to wake up and praise the Lord. even if that means waking up to sit on my butt in the same old room in the same old spot and study and stare at C's and H's and dashes for 15 hours straight. for 5 days straight. well maybe with some breaks.
but this is what i put my hope in. when i get so overwhelmed this is what i hold on to. every breath i take. every moment i'm awake. this is my heartbeat.
