the sovereignty of God

as i continue to wrestle with God in the place of prayer, time and time again i find myself getting slammed.

i like to ask God for the salvation of souls, for God to move in the hearts of my non-christian friends, and for God to bring physical healing. many times, i find myself hitting a wall. the question has been: God, why not now? why not? are not my prayers in line with the desires of your heart? am i not coming into agreement for your desires for this world?
this happens frequently in the place of healing: God, am i really asking too much for you to show up and heal this sprained ankle? this headache? this sore throat? you've done it before! what bad can possibly come out of you showing up and demonstrating your physical, tangible love? what good comes out of another unanswered prayer for healing? 
it also happens in the contending for salvation: God, why don't you just do something right now? why don't you just soften his/her heart so that he/she may come to know the extent of your love and your work on the cross?

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wrestling with these unanswered prayers have led me to reflect on the sovereignty of God. yes, God is a good God who desires good for me and this world. Yes, He is a God who desires mercy over judgment. yes, He is gracious, merciful, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love. however, at the same time, God is God. and i am not. God can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. who am i to question the perfect wisdom and timing of God? who am i to say that i know better than God? heck, who am i that You are mindful of me? yet you hear me when i call.

as i take another look at the old testament, one theme repeated itself over and over: the sovereignty of God. the old testament clearly establishes the power of God, and instills a fear of the LORD, a reverence in the people. whether it is a flood or seven plagues, God makes it clear that anyone that chooses to go against Him will perish.

unfortunately, as a generation of christians that tends to focus on the new testament concepts of grace, mercy, and love, we tend to forget about the sovereignty of God. we forget that God has the power to create life and with it, the power to take away. as a result, we now take a look at the old testament and we get offended by the God we are reading about. how can God smite people like that? how can God send a plague to kill thousands? how can God just harden and soften hearts like that?

without the sovereignty of God established in our lives, we easily become offended when God does not answer our prayers, or when things do not go our way. we get offended when God doesn't heal our dying parent of cancer. we get offended at God when we pray for years and years for restoration in our family, and nothing seems to happen.(if anything, things seem to be getting worse). we get offended at God when we pray for the salvation of our non-christian family member, non-christian friend, and nothing seems to get better.

with an understanding of the sovereignty of God, who are we to question His ways? who are we to question His perfect wisdom and understanding? yes, i don't know why God does things that He does. but I know that He does. and the only thing that he requires of me is to allow him to be God and me to be me, and let it be. God, you know best. always. Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Your ways are higher than my ways. always.
an understanding of the sovereignty of God gives me a fuller picture of the character of God. it does, however, throw a wrench into the very basis of prayer. if in the end, God is sovereign and He can do whatever He wants, then why do we even bother praying? 

i don't know too much. but i do know:
1) i pray because Jesus prayed. prayer is a command from God Himself, to come into agreement with the desires of His heart and pray them into reality.
2) i pray because i believe that i have the power to move God's heart. i say that because the prophets did. and because of the work of the cross, Christ has given me the same authority. i believe that like moses, jeremiah, and isaiah, human beings (christians) have the power to change God's mind. despite His sovereignty, i believe that God can choose whether or not to be influenced by one force, and that is the prayers of His people. think about that.

the thinker in me continues.